Tuesday, 21 April 2009

The Book Of Truth: For School Leavers.

For ages now I've wanted to do a book - (serious humour) - about the difference between what the world promises while you're at school to what it delivers when you cop that size nine in the arse and are told to GET OUT.....by your olds, AND the school. Basically for school leavers. Via a contract with the Department of Education would be great!.

The sorts of things I'm thinking is surviving the first year. GET a trade or a degree: preferably both. The truth about the work force. The truth about chicks till they're 26. The truth about guys till they're 50. The truth about relationships. The truth about your friends. The truth about drugs and alcohol. The truth about share houses - (can offer further literature for THAT one) - and home ownership. The truth about kids. The truth about your society: media, politicians, beliefs etc etc.

What truth would've helped you back then?.


  1. That you might not know what the hell you want to do once you join civvy street, but neither does anyone else - and if they say they do they're either self-deluding or lying. And that any experience - in any field of endeavour, work, social, whatever - is better than none.

    Reckon there's an unmet need there Moko, you'd have a keen target audience (apart from the ones pretending to know what they're doing). Maybe in tone you'd pitch it a bit like Flinty and JB's man guide - not sure that'd work for female readers though.

  2. you would need to include female key words, as sorta a warning order for the guys.

    Words like

    OVERDUE...thats a BIGGIE and so forth.

    What to do ( act wise), when she says " She is Overdue"

  3. Good concept. I would have liked a user's guide to girls, how to create additional false identities and advice on dodging careers.

  4. There needs to be a chapter on Redheads. It doesn't even need to be a long chapter, as all advice regarding Redheads is actually quite simple.

    I'm afraid to write that advice here, because I'm sure some Redhead will read it, and my life would thus immediately become forfeit.

  5. Doc ~ I still have to read that book. I reckon life truths are the way to go. I'm probably only pitching shit too.

    Havock ~ heh, yeah, that'll be in the chick section.

    Therbs ~ lol

    Steve ~ Not wrong. Redheads need their own section. So do Leo's.

  6. Stand well CLEar,, A REDEHEAD is taking offence..pmsl..nah not really..

    I would have liked a section on how to deal with sexual harrassment back then. it wasnt frowned upon as it is now, and when I commented to the bosses mother that he was prone to sexual innuendo,touching etc,, (and he was married!!) I got sacked..!! go figure..

  7. From Walker Lamond's 1001 rules for my unborn son

    Sadly, some things we love will never come back. The fedora is one of them.

    Let the axe do the work.

    Never under any circumstances ask a woman if she is pregnant.

    Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room. You’ll be suprised how often it works.

    When in doubt, wear a tie.

    Be a vigorous dancer.

    Talent is learned. Learn to sing.

    You are what you do, not what you say.

    You Can Never Overdress

    When building a fire, choose deadwood from a tree, not off the ground.

    Don't use a chisel for anything other than its intended purpose.

    If you're good at something, never do it for free.

    Give credit. Take the blame.

    and many, many more.

    For me it would be the advice from Al Swaregen in Deadwood - after Merrick's presses have been destroyed by local toughs upset by Merrick's publication of a notice that existing gold claims might be thrown out if Deadwood is annexed to the U.S. Swearengen's final line is a kind of mini-soliloquy that sums up his character perfectly:

    Al: (Sits, lets out a sigh) Why ain't you up and running again?

    Merrick: I'm in despair. The physical damage is repairable, but the psychic wound may be permanent.

    Al: (After a pause.) You ever been beaten, Merrick?

    Merrick: (Rolls his eyes) Once, when I thought I had the smallpox, Doc Cochran slapped me in the face --

    (Al slaps him.)

    Merrick: Ah! (He stares at Al, touching his cheek -- he leans forward) Stop it, Al.

    Al: Are you dead?

    Merrick: Well, (touches cheek) I'm in pain, but no, I'm obviously not dead.

    Al: And obviously you didn't fucking die when the Doc slapped you.

    Merrick: No.

    And this is what I would want my son to know

    "Pain or damage don't end the world, or despair, or fuckin' beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man -- and give some back.

    Great idea for a book. But try to include something about zombies and ninjas.

  8. I see Al Swearengen quotes everywhere. What the fuck were they thinking when they knocked it on the head?. That character, and many others from that show, take the gong for me.

    Ain't that the truth of it all though.

    Ninja Bunnies taking out Zombies dude.

    Red ~ Yeah, absolutely. Stuff like that is a must.

  9. Hey now....I'm a Leo, and I'm the sanest person I know! Of course, I could also be the craziest person everyone else knows. Must think on that one.

    I know a rather large woman who I hadn't seen in a bit, and thought she looked pregnant, but assumed she had simply gotten larger. Turns out, she was 9 months pregnant. But was I going to ask if she was pregnant? HELL NO.


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