Sunday, 29 November 2009

Lick me in the ass fine well and clean?

Along the lines of the Roman Poetry episode we find none other than Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

Mr Mozart died in 1791. His missus sent some manuscripts to some publishers after his death to be adapted for publication. The publisher changed the lyrics from "Leck mich im Arsch", or "Lick me in the arse", to "Laßt froh uns sein", or "Let us be glad".

APPARENTLY this song was for the shits and giggles of it for him and his mates to be sung at parties at his place. There were three parts. Kinda like how you do "Row, row, row your boat" with alternating start times.

Here the audio. Sing along, if you can.

Leck mich im arsch g'schwindi, g'schwindi!
Leck im arsch mich g'schwindi.
Leck mich, leck mich,

In Englich...umm...English:

Lick me in the arse quickly, quickly!
Lick my arse quickly
Lick me, lick me,

In case anyone cares, here's the "Let us be glad" alternative.

Let us be glad!
Grumbling is in vain!
Growling, droning is in vain,
is the true bane of life,
Droning is in vain,
Growling, droning is in vain, in vain!
Thus let us be cheerful and merry, be glad!

It seems that Mr Mozart and his friends got VERY drunk one night and came up with an alternative, fortunately for us: Leck mir den Arsch fein recht schön sauber, or Lick me in the ass fine well and clean. As you do.

Leck mire den arsch recht schon,
fein sauber lecke ihn,
fein sauber lecke, leck mire den arsch
Das ist ein fettigs Begehren,
nur gut mit Butter geschmiert,
den das Lecken der Braten mein tagliches Thun.
Drei lecken mehr als Zweie,
nur her, machet die Prob'
und leckt, leckt, leckt.
Jeder leckt sein arsch fur sich.


Lick my ass nicely,
lick it nice and clean,
nice and clean, lick my ass.
That's a greasy desire,
nicely buttered,
like the licking of roast meat, my daily activity.
Three will lick more than two,
come on, just try it,
and lick, lick, lick.
Everybody lick his own ass himself.

NO WONDER he called them K.223/382d

Saturday, 28 November 2009

Authors critiquing books

Don't do it.

"For instance, Lovegrove demonstrates a strange tendency to slip in technically correct, but stylistically unsuitable, vocabulary into otherwise workmanlike prose - "steatopygous", "athwart", "besmirched" to mention a few words thus used, although it doesn't happen often enough to be a joke. And then, at one point, there is a startling moment when one of the characters, an ex-policeman, comments on the tendency of police officers to use " a florid, unnatural form of English" in their reports and has to stop himself doing it when he gets tired. Post-modern self-referential irony or not? It has to be - the rest of the technical aspects of the writing are too competent to allow it to be anything else. But whatever it is, it stands out like a quarterback's foot in your eye most of the time."

Shut up.

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

New Moon: Porn for Chicks

I have to confess to the brotherhood on this page that I went to the Twilight movie, New Moon, yesterday. Before I'm excommunicated please let me explain. I did it for me, and us, my brothers.

For me, because now when something of explodey awesomeness graces the big wide screen I've got one round in the belt. Secondly, consider it "one for the team", so to speak. We need to know what these women are being exposed to - literally, and artistically - for the purpose of expecting to be punished for not wanting to die if your missus dies and not having a hot those fuckers do in the movie.

If we were to find a comparison for New Moon as a dude flick attempting to get the same reaction we'd be looking at something based on 16 year old school girls running around in string bikini tops and tight little work out shorts, in the rain. Seriously, GROWN women were giggling like girls at EVERY dumb joke and gratuitous pose....and it was FULL of it.

Edward's a skinny arse mother fucker, by the way. Pffft.

The bird is bipolar, as well - fits most chicks. Apparently she's read something about Vampire cock somewhere - going by her begging for it - and is BUSTING for it but when he face palms her she finds a hole in the forest - literally - and crawls in.

Men, if you were to go to a movie that was about 16 year old girls wearing next to nothing you'd be labelled a perv one step up from the worst kind. So why is it different for chicks?.

Saturday, 21 November 2009


Re: the climate change "debate"....or climate change mass-debate, as I call it.

Really, there's no debate that the environment is changing. Who gives a shit if we - as a species - are majority responsible or if it's a planetary cycle?. Isn't it just a good thing if if we change how we function AS a species?.

Forget green-house, how we function is shit-house. Fixing it can only be a good thing for us and the planet, can't it?.

These clowns can't see the ocean for the waves.

Monday, 16 November 2009

Voting off other drivers.

You know what?. I reckon there should an in-car thing where everyone votes on other drivers via a 'sat-link' thingo where you just punch in the rego and after enough votes a UAV appears over head loaded up with Maverick missiles and blows them into the after life THEIR 'sat-link' thing warns them to sort their shit out or be banned from the road for the rest of the day. For repeat offenders they be banned for an extra day and so on.

People who vote too much without other drivers voting for the same drivers as well get a warning.

The coppers already have the auto rego ID thingo. It could work.

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

It's amazing what a bit of water does.

Stoked we've been getting some rain over the last week or so. Check this out.

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Friday, 6 November 2009

Modern Warfare 2

The REAL sequel to Call of Duty 4 is due out on Tuesday, Au time. I reckon you might be able to get it Monday to Monday arvo coz there's no real dramas with playing it online inside a week of release.

Anyone getting it?. Wanna hook up?. I've only got the Xbox so if anyone's keen let us know.

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

Oh thank God I'm miscarrying. Abortions take too long..?

You know what?. I reckon the right to have children should be a God given unlock. Kinda like an achievement in a game, if you will. You should need to achieve a level of societal consciousness and compassion. You should have had to proven to the almighty through your "inner beauty" - unlike what's found on America's top model - that you're worthy of producing off-spring and that you are not a fucken total 'Gomer'.

"Penelope Trunk is a careers advisor who wrote a book in 2007 called 'The Brazen Careerist' , has a blog of the same name and was, until recently, CEO of her own company called, wait for it, The Brazen Careerist.

Well, we get the Brazen part. On the personal front, she is a divorced mother of two.

When the storm erupted, here's what she said to CNN:

'I have no regrets. I actually thought that having a miscarriage at work was no big shakes. It seems like everyone in the whole world would prefer a miscarriage over an abortion - even the Pope. It's no different to me saying what I had for lunch. I am not really sure why people are offended. To those who don't want to know, what would I say? Don't log on.""

The 'Tweet':

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Dunno about youse, but I can picture her wandering to the dunny, 'Slop slop slop flush', and off for lunch.

Sourced from: Mamamia