Wife Prank Gone Wrong (audio)

GITMO Vid by JTFG - Public Affairs

Interesting, and controversial. Be interesting to see what ex-prisoners have to say about 'Happy Land GITMO'.

Fun With Fundi's.

If you ever wanna fill a day troll the interwebs for Fundamentalist websites.....ANY Fundi websites will do.

Yesterday I picked Youtube. More specifically, a Militant Fundi's. Now, let me get this straight, I don't make fun of anyone......well, not in a insensitive way anyway. The death of anyone isn't a laughing matter, unless they're doing something stupid, like car surfing, or firing an AK47 at a Abram's tank. I mean, what DO YOU THINK'S GONNA HAPPEN?????. Exactly, comedy gold.

How long till the yank summer, and online gaming.

Battlefield 1943 comes out then. It's a cheapo download game based on the Frostbite Engine that BFBC runs on.

Frostbite (if you're interested click BFBC in the previous sentence) is a destructo enviro engine that allows most buildings and structures to be blown apart. The first game to do it to that degree. Personally, it sets the benchmark for me. The benchmark used to be computer AI, but with the advent of Online Multiplayer the AI issue is redundant. IF you want a challenge, go online. But I digress, again, but anywho...

If I hit something with a weapon big enough to vapourise something then I want it vapourised. That's the biggest let down for the last two in the Call Of Duty series. World At War is just BLAH for me. It doesn't do it for me anymore for various reasons. The single player, however, is OUTSTANDING, but as a multiplayer it sucks. I'll elaborate in the comments if anyone actually does give a fuck why.

Anyway, seasons don't matter around Brisbane cause it goes from 'Pleasant, with the ability to sleep' season (winter) to the 'ARGH' season (summer) with some transitional weather anomilies in between.

So how long?. The developers won't put a date stamp on it.

A Matter Of Justice: Part Deux

I've figured out what I wanna do for that course project. Now I've gotta get it past the others - whoever that might be - that I've gotta do it with.

The vibe is people associating with gangs. From youth packs to organised crime as adults. And trying to figure out who does it and why. At a glance I'm guessing it's people who feel disassociated in some way identifying with a group dynamic to belong to something.

It'll be interesting to find a difference between cultural gangs - like the Lebanese, Asian, Islanders, Anglo's, Eastern European, from an immigrant cultural POV to individuals finding somewhere to belong.

Lotsa friends of mine from school ended up in gangs. Some best mates ended up as 'enemies' as a result.

Wish me luck. Gonna have to fight for it.

Baraka. (film)

I saw this movie a few years back. I hadn't actually thought about for a long time and then stumbled across it at Youtube.

It's a look at the world you live in. It's not about where you are, it's about what's in it. I noticed in the description they mentioned the director intentionally left the locations for that reason.

Truly an amazing film that you can buy and is a must have for the collection if you have one.

Here's the first part of 10 parts if you want to see it for free.

ARGH Cap'n Bligh 'n thar Mutinous Scoundrels

Our glorious leader - Cap'n Bligh ARGHHH - is 'SICK' of speculation regarding a possible looming election, so what does she do?....

She calls one!. DAMN THE DAMNED DAMNING DAMNDIBLE RUMOUROUS SCUM LAND LUBBING MUNTINY BASTARDS. I'LL TEACH THEM!!!!!!!!!.

Sneaky bitch. Wouldn't have anything to do with their popularity heading towards terra firma like some sorta comet, would it!?

It just so happens that a poll that caught a snapshot of the plummeting comet of popularity at 65% TWO DAYS AGO. What speed would the shutter have needed to be a catch THAT?????.

God we're screwed. Who's the other choice.............Springborg?. For our Seppo mates, Springborg is EXACTLY what his name sounds like.

Perhaps Fred Phelps was right.



God bless his cotton socks.

Build it and they will come...

The little lady has been excited all week because we're getting a Spotlight 'near' us. 'Near' in this part of town is like 35 k's away, but, I digress. She was all excited cause Friday morn was the opening and the first 500 .....yes, FIVE HUNDRED....people would receive a bag full of shit goodies of the 'craft' variety. Whatever the fuck THAT means. Shit, I think. Yours truly got 'recruited' to line up and received a bag full of shit goodies. She NEEDS 3 bags of free shit goodies. OF course the fucking joint opens at 0800.

We jump in the car AT 0700 and get there towards 0730. Driving along the approach road we notice 'road works' near where the store 'is'. Upon closer inspection I observe aircon duct hanging from where the roof of said Spotlight store roof SHOULD BE.

Oh I LAUGH!!!.

They haven't built the fucker yet. She HAD the right date. They just got over excited in the printing of the junk mail.

ME thinks I doth dodge le bullet. hehehehe

Goat Suspected Of Armed Robbery

This one is for Al.

POLICE in Nigeria are holding a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery.

Vigilantes took the black and white beast to the police saying it was an armed robber who had used black magic to transform himself into a goat to escape arrest after trying to steal a Mazda 323.

"The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car. They pursued them. However one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat," Kwara state police spokesman Tunde Mohammed told Reuters by telephone.

"We cannot confirm the story, but the goat is in our custody. We cannot base our information on something mystical. It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat," he said.

Belief in witchcraft is widespread in parts of Nigeria, Africa's most populous nation. Residents came to the police station to see the goat, photographed in one national newspaper on its knees next to a pile of straw.

~ Reuters

If only Tony Mokbel had thought of that he wouldn't have had to wear that stupid hair piece. See, money CAN'T buy you everything.

Indian toddler marries dog to stop tiger attack.

You think I'm kidding....


A group of Indian tribals have married off a toddler to a female dog in eastern India in a bid to prevent his predicted death at the hands of a tiger, according to a report.

The ceremony at a Hindu temple in Orissa state's Jajpur district was conducted with all the rituals observed at traditional weddings, including a dowry for the bride.

The dog sported two silver rings and a silver chain, the UNI news agency reported.

Parents of the groom, one-year-old Sangula, were advised to arrange the marriage when they noticed a tooth growing from their infant son's upper gum, which is considered a bad omen.

Community elders believed the growth would lead to the boy being killed in a tiger attack - a fate preventable, according to tribal tradition, by marrying a dog.

Sanrumula Munda, Sangula's father, said the ceremony would not prevent him from marrying properly when he comes of age.

Superstition is still a potent force in tribal and remote communities of India.

- AFP

GENIUS. Damn valentines day hating, cow loving GENIUS. If I move to the Territory would marrying a chicken save me from getting eaten by a croc?.

Imagine the answer to the question if he ends up going for a government job.

"Are you, or have you ever been married?".

"Why actually YES, she's a bitch!"

"Sir, you shouldn't talk about your wife like that!"

"That reminds me, I need to pick up a flea collar".

Travis The Sleeper Assassin Chimp

You've probably seen this article about a chimp that attacked a visitor to the owner's home.

The missus said an interesting thing in relation to animals that shouldn't be pets - like assassin chimps, lions, cassowary's, bears, and tyrannosaurus rexies - is that it's just like Madagascar, the movie, where the lion starts to get hungry and stops seeing his mates as a companion and starts seeing them as a food source. There's a trigger deep down in the inner psyche that's there to trip and BOOM, she goes off like a fucken land mine.

Dogs have it, cats too. It's like a anti-lotto ticket in the deep dark recesses of primal instinct. Add drugs to that and you've got a 80 kilo (200 lb) psycho with the remorse of a shark.

I feel sorry for the sleeper assassin chimp that got the metaphorical trigger phone call from the genes that said, "snap".

A Matter of Justice.

I've got a research project I've gotta tackle at some stage soon that is a 'Justice Topic'. That's about all the info I've got. Some examples that are doable that he's mentioned are the 'Redfern Riots', 'Capital Punishment in Aus', with arguments for and against and shortcomings on everyone's part etc etc.

I'm trying to come up with one and am struggling for a topic. We've gotta do it as a group [of 2-4], under duress, I wanna do my own, so something with a large quantity of info available would be good.

Coupla thoughts I've had is Domestic Violence (but meh), or something to do with lethal versus non lethal weaponry and their use of in the force.

Any suggestions my smart friends?.

Dude, Where's My Sausage?.

MARK Nolan arrived at work this morning to find his mate, the Sausage King, had been kidnapped.

The Grays Modern Meat Mart owner is offering a reward for the arrest of the culprits, captured on CCTV footage about 3am.

It took two people 30 minutes to unscrew the giant sausage from the roof of the butchery.

IT seems he's offered 1o kilos of sausages as reward for its return. ROFLMAO Good grief.

Japanese Finance Minister Shitfaced.

This why I've got a soft spot for the Japanese. Check out the dude to his right, cool as a cucumber.



Why they didn't pull an Emergency Migraine and not let him up there we'll never know. Maybe he was being assassinated politically.

Billy T James: Racial Equality

Billy T James - the Maori dude - was a Kiwi comedian most of us grew up with in Un Zud. Much treasured and much loved. He allowed us to laugh at ourselves, and others. He died in 1991.

In case you're not sure on accents, the guy on the boat is from South Africa (he mumbles it in the vid). This would've been made in the 80's when Apartheid was in full swing in SA. It kinda points out - not so subtly - how people are measured in NZ.

Fat Content Of Meat

Anyone else noticed an increase lately?.

We've been aiming for the more expensive end of the cheap meats (chicken, beef mince, snags) recently and the fat content has been through the roof.

Anyone else getting that, or is it just my part of the world?.

Book Recco. Unconventional Military Strategies.

Turn Around And Run Like Hell By Joseph Cummings (pdf) is about war strategies that worked against the odds, usually. Covering battles from 539bc with the Persians giving Babylon a nudge to 1956.

From the link:

This is a history of unorthodox military strategies, unprecedented ideas from leaders who
thought outside the box-who, in fact, wouldn’t even know a box if they saw one- and
whose unconventional, even heretical, tactics not only changed the course of battles, but
sometimes became part of the military canon.
In this book, we learn how to exploit an enemy’s weak spots and how to fashion handy
weapons out of everything from trees to dead bodies. In more than one story, we appreciate
that there comes a time in every general’s career when the best possible strategy is to
swallow his pride, turn around — and run like hell!.

I've just started it but I'm really enjoying it. It plays out more like an against the odds book. It's got a chapter about the Maori running the English to a stand still and to a treaty. The Maori have never been conquered in war.

Death Proof (movie)

I think Barnesm mentioned Death Proof was released in conjunction with Planet Terror - see trailer in previous entry. I hadn't seen Death Proof either. I think because of the vibe he's been giving off in the last 4 or 5 years with the Manga - spaghetti western - 'samurai' blood fest splatter shock movies that seemed to be veering off into the scrub of weirdness.

Having just finished reading his bio tho, there's nothing there that I didn't really like. I'm not really a QT junkie but Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown are all in my top 20 of best movies made. I think Death Proof almost made it. It would've if it wasn't for the 'dead water' in the middle. I think that 'dead water' is assumption of the story line. So, my bad there.

The ending though, is in my top five of best endings.



Watch it, you'll like it.

Metal Storm.

Bob asked the question, "MetalStorm Mortar?".

Funnily enough it's something I've got a massive interest in and I've never really blogged about it. Dunno why.

One of 'my videos' on Youtube has almost 2,000,000 views. It's on the Metal Storm platform of Mortar. It has 24 barrels and each barrel has 4 rounds (I think) in each. Metal Storm is basically stacked caseless ammo that's electronically fired by a computer. This means it can fire at rates from 1 round per mintue to 1,000,000 rounds per minute. 4 x 24 barrels at a rate of 1,000,000 rounds sounds like a single 'whump'. It's incredible. What that means is that it can fire all those rounds off at once and decimate a huge area all at the same time. By placing sensors under a prearranged area it can select targets and dump the required amount of ordinance to decimate by volume.

There's 'Area Denial' which is autonomous turrets that will acquire and destroy targets at the same rate of fire. It can shoot down RPG's before your eye knows one has been fired.

One of 'my videos' showing an overview of the tech. I used it in my Tuchola story.



Here's the Mortar. It's actually been linked by some high profile websites. I'm proud of this one, but sick of the fucken retarded comments it gets.

This is a test of the prototype. Is NOT the finished product.

My Youtube channel offer.

I had an offer on my Youtube channel the other day. At first I was aghast, then perplexed, then STOKED.

The initial offer was US$200. I laughed. After all the hours of dicking about with the video camera, editing, adding audio, and making an arse of myself.....TWO.HUNDY??????.

I wrote back going, and I quote, "Pffffffft".

They wrote back and said that I clearly was looking for more than they were willing to offer but they could cough up 300 bucks.

Just to clarify, one of 'my vids' has had a fraction under 2 million views, and gets a coupla thousand a day. I've got some more with tens of thousands. It's good for advertising.

I thought about for a coupla hours then thought "fuck it". I'd say I put a full weeks work into it over the last couple of years. Average wage. Alright buddy, US$500 and she's yours.

They are VERY quietly chewing it over.........I think. Haven't heard back. Maybe they're saving. lol

All righty then...

Blocked from Blunty, really?.

My replies aren't being published. Bit harsh. I'm assuming it's a unintentional spam issue....that's repeated.

Photo's from the fire front.

Click this for an image gallery from Victoria. Mostly amazing, but a slightly disturbing one of some dead cattle at image number 3. Just warning ya. It's from the Sydney Morning Herald.

Here's another one from the ABC.

Planet Terror (movie)

I've been meaning to get this out for yonks. Finally did. Here's the trailer.



If you like ANYTHING with action, killing, Zombies, slashing whatever, get it. It's great.

Many of you will HATE IT. There's some fucken DISGUSTING stuff, and some hilariously.....hilarious....stuff.

Bush fire footage - scary stuff.

New video added as of Monday morning AU time.

Christianity....defined. (funny)

Just in response to Simon in the previous post.



Dunno if Burqa's are really all that odd, considering...

Driving yourself Burqa.

Couldn't resist.

A random question I've gotta figure out not really a part of the course but at the course is how do Muslim women who wear the full Burqa get up go about getting a drivers licence.

...my question is, if they do how do they drive safely?.

Anyway, it turns out that there is only one nation and one ex-regime that doesn't/didn't allow women to drive. The Saudi's, and the Taliban.

The idea behind the Burqa (without judgement) is modesty. Only women - other the husband - can view these women. 'Licencing' clearly states that NO head wear can be worn in your licence photo. In order for a Burqa wearer to acquire a licence would be that the photo be taken and seen by a female from Licencing and that if pulled over by the police the wearer could only be ID'd by a female officer.

Without knowing anyone (or have EVER had known) who submits to this sort of faith I couldn't judge with confidence the husband in this senario, but generally, you'd think, they wouldn't really be permitted the freedom of a licence if it wasn't OBSOLUTELY necessary anyway.

Anyone disagree?.

The course, and jobs.

Had my first night of the course I'm doing last night. Fuck loads of peeps; about 60. Really interesting, and got some homework already. Which is cool. It's sussing out the coroners court and various aspects of it. There's a research project coming up soon which I might get a head start in. We know the basics, but haven't had a run down on it yet. It's all a fraction cryptic at the mo.

It's funny, every course you do or group you belong to is made up of the same personalities every single time. There's loud guy that's all smoke. There's the quiet chick that coughs up genius whenever she talks. There's the breezers that just sit there and cruise it. The people that fuck around. Kinda funny. Same dynamic in EVERY group.

Calling in every favour for work. lol Fucken HATE faxing and emailing resumes and they just end up on the floor below the fax at the other end or in the spam trap on someones account. If I EVER run a job company I'll look after you, I promise.

I called an agency after I faxed my resume through to see if they got it and the child on the other end said, "Oh KAY, I'll check for you, I haven't looked ALL DAY hehehehehe",

This was 1130. Sounds of walking and talking and giggling. She gets to where the fax is and says,

" Oh KAY, there's SO many. One sec. What's your name again?, oh KAY, ummmmm, heheheheheh, there's SO MANY",

I'm just rolling my eyes. EVENTUALLY she found it and confirmed it got there. I nearly asked what was she gonna do with it now?, dump it back on the floor?. It shits me how you can't talk to someone about what you're about and looking for before applying for the job. You need to apply THEN find out about it at the interview wasting everyone time usually.

I got some leads on jobs I said the other day I'd NEVER do. Sigh. It's work, and I'll just pray for the best.

Thursday phone call to the boss.....OMG

I've been battling my employer over getting a roster - well, it was hours I requested months ago and got BTW - change of ONE NIGHT that inconveniences no one. This has been a daily battle for the last ten days having spoken to the cocks about the same topic.

We parted company on Tuesdays phonecall with him being a smug c**t. I ring today to formally let him know I won't be in tonight.

"Why?", he says.

True.

Show Me The Money.

Mr and Mrs average Joe Blow are RE-TARDED if they sit down and think about this 40 odd BILLION bucks our MOST BLESSED Mr Rudd is throwing our way.

SHUT.THE.FUCK.UP.AND.TAKE.IT.

How long have we been shafted in the marmite jar by Mr Bigwig?. I've sat here and paid taxes just watching one scrag after another waddle around the local shopping getting ready to pop ANOTHER social vampire out into the world and cop ANOTHER 5 grand for the effort to be spent on a new mobile phone and some Xbox games for the male part of the insemination process.

If we REALLY are looking at being sucked into a depression, I want something out of it before we start plummeting. What I want is that 950 BUCKS.

Battlestations: Pacific comes out on Xbox about then. YES!!!! NEVER thought I was gonna get it.

Show me the money.

SHOW.ME.THE.MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Deadline (short film)

Written, directed by, and starring Nash Edgerton (Joel's brother - off Star Wars and shit).

1997 Tropfest winner.

Holy CRAP, I'm Irreplaceable...seriously.

Turns out NO ONE in Brisbane can do my shitty little job other than me. My change of roster was denied on grounds of not being able to find someone to fill that time slot. My weekend is Tuesday night and Wednesday night. I wanted to change my Thursday night shift to the Wednesday night due to a course I'm starting on Thursday which will fill Tuesday night, as well. The Wednesday night shift is currently taken care of by blow-in casuals every week. It's NOT like I'm shoving someone out of the road. All they have to do is instead of a blow-in floating casual on Wednesday night, get him in on Thursday.

Simple enough?, apparently not. Resounding NO, from the boss. Okey Dokey me says. I'll get back to ya me says. Get back to me? he says. Yes me says. I need that money, if I don't get it then I have to find another job because I'm DOING the course me says. Me says I don't want it to sound like a ultimatum but if if walks funny and it sounds funny and is covered in feathers then chances are it's a duck....me says.

Now the dunkin donut has to find someone to fill five shifts, instead of swapping ONE. Oh the logic. Oh the incompetance. No wonder no one will work for them.

If you have your security licence, senior first aid, CPR and want a groovy little part time job, let me know.

Black Pots, Black Kettles.

A rant many of us will read this morning stirred a simmering frustration in my psyche. I'm thrilled to be part of a virtual community that found it's origins in a land that now merely a scattering of zeroes and ones on the ground like some unseen insurgent let off a 155mm artillery shell underneath it's foundations - I've gotta stop reading books on Iraq too. I take a huge amount of pleasure in - virtually (both senses of the word) - meeting new and interesting people from all over the globe. The destruction of JS hasn't really changed ANYTHING about how I function online within this community.

I'm stoked that you take the time to acknowledge the things that I choose to share in regards to what's going on in my existence. I'll do my best to head your way and check out what you life is about. Of course, life being what it is we can't all do it everyday, but 'occasionally' IS possible.

I'm stoked to have a comfy little spot in the Birmoverse. We all get along really well and all share a common interest in the works of Birmo and those closely related to his works as well. Occasionally there'll be a flare-up, but if intelligent passionate people didn't once in awhile there'd be something wrong, and obviously we'd all be hiding something. As much of a fan of the work as I am I'm just as much of a fan of the person as well. I went and had lunch with a few regulars and Birmo in 'The Valley' last year and was stoked to go and physically be part of this thing and shoot some shit with people I admire and respect. Girl Clumsy, Mick, NatV, Birmo, Orin and a couple of others that I haven't come across since. [There's the butter]

The article this morning caused me to pause, however. I personally spent 7 days writing something for the Birmoverse Fan-Fiction. Didn't get so much as an acknowledgement. I obviously did it for myself mostly, but, ya know.....?.

I went into "well, I did this, and this, and this, and this..." but deleted it. It makes no difference. I wouldn't have brought this if it wasn't for the:


"You lazy bastards. You make me sick. What is it with you people that you just won't get off your butts and drag yourself a couple of klicks out of your way? The curse of localism, that's what it is, and this town is suffering because of it. More importantly, ol' JB is suffering too."

I get the humour, and I know it's tongue in cheek, but there's most definitely an underlaying truth and feeling in the sentiment. He's also right. There's many a thing that I've missed due to the 'localisation' thing, but my point is, make sure you've got your own shit squared away before you start swinging clubs.

....what's the bet this is the only entry he reads. Sigh. And if you do, check out the "Thou Shalt Not Kill" one. Link's too the right. It's better.

SUPERBOWL - The yank footy, not a huge bong

Great game, loved it. It's about the only time we get to watch unless spend the money on it. Loved the hundy yard touchdown just on half time. I bet that's the fartherest furtherest most distance he run in a LONG TIME going by the time it took for him to get up lol.


Bit of a thriller that one. I assume it's the same as here with the history of a team influencing the excitement and significance of a match-up. I'm totally oblivious to that side of it.

Loved the Dorito ad with the 'crystal ball'. Funny.

Thought Bruce Springsteen was gonna have a heart attack.

Nice one.

Ute [check], Harpoon [check], Winch with 10 mm steel cable...

Ignore me, I'm just compiling a list of gear I might need to get Barnes and Co. OVER TO THIS BLOG FOR A VISIT.

Jesus Christ, what do ya have to do, kidnap the fuckers?. I even left a damn trail of Zombie Apocalyptic goodness in the short film below. But NOOOOOOOOOO.....

*leaves grumbling*