Saturday, 14 August 2010

Moko's Church of Probability!

I'm thinking fuck it, too much shit just doesn't make sense or there never will be enough evidence to state actual FACTS and TRUTHS; only majority agreed theory. So I devised and plan. A plan, so cunning ... ah, never mind, already plagiarised that one.

I present you, dear soon to be follower of Moko's Church of Probability, The Church ... of Probability.

Da da DAAAAAAAAAH dum dum do WAAAAAH.

Moko's Church of Probability base beliefs is that, "I actually have no fucking idea so I'm going the greatest probability, but at least I am willing to admit this and will base my beliefs on the numbers".

Example. Chances are, the universe has aliens in it. Neither science nor religion can't prove SHIT; it's all faith. So I present to you, dear soon to be follower, is that Probably aliens dropped off "Adam and Eve" - being the first humans to colonise Earth - and there really is no "missing link", only an origin. The good book had it mostly right, according to the Church of Probability, and possibly they might still be right in regards to a power above the aliens, BUT, our higher power is probably alien due to "the chances are..." theorem within Moko's Church of Probability.

As for The Question. The origins of the universe Question. The Church of Probability acknowledges that we have no fucking idea and are willing to stop talking about it until some FACTS float to the surface.

Welcome, Brothers and Sisters.

13 comments:

  1. Where does the Church of Probability stand on Church of Occam and their grooming tools?

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  2. Sorry mate, science IS the church of probability.

    Pwnd yet again...

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  3. The Church of Probability acknowledges the Church of Occam but promises not to start a war with them. We can't be fucked. This is clearly stated in the book of "Each to Their Own..." theorem.

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  4. Well no, good Doc, The Church of Probability acknowledges gaps in knowledge and does not trim evidence to fit 'the hole'.

    Uh, Pwnd urself....dude....

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  5. Neither does science mate. Shit journalism does though.

    Don't quite see how a bunch of ancient fairytales and anecdotes go further to explaining the universe than actual physics and shit, but hey, it's your church. Pity you can't patent that aliens and shit stuff, you'd make millions flogging it to clueless Hollywood celebs - up until the Scientologists sued your arse for plagiarising their tax dodge. Erm, religion.

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  6. I believe Scientology has a specific alien and various other specifics. The church of Probability doesn't. The Church of Probability accepts some things just are...

    Yes, science does. They even called it the Darwinius.

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  7. The question is...does it matter in the end? Do we have the capacity to understand any of it? Methinks not.

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  8. So, Moko, your Church of Probability has a
    clear doctrine regarding the origin of the universe. But then, so does Sarah Palin.

    O.k, stop laughing and ask yourself this: Did you actually hear what Sarah had to say, or did you merely read the sneering media commentary about it?

    (It's normal. Australia did the same thing to Pauline Hanson. They based their "racist" tag on criticisms made by journalists, without reading her opening address to parliament. So they didn't notice when John Howard implemented nearly everything Pauline proposed.)

    My question to you, Moko, is this: what's your doctrine on the afterlife? In all probability, that is. You won't get followers without a "what's in it for me?" payback, so if we tithe to your church, you'd better promise us an eternity of happy. Or at the very least, 28 virgins. (No they're not the same thing - I hate training virgins.)

    And who is the supreme leader of the church? You? We need to know, so we can point you out when ACA show up, ready to film the owner of all those properties and Jaguars. Or do we just point at the bloke we think is 'probably' the leader?

    You really haven't thought this through, have you?

    Never mind. Neither did that John Smith guy from the Mormons. And look how well he did!

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  9. The Church of Probability treats those as they wish to be treated. We don't live life with the thought of the afterlife in mind or live in fear of it. We just live life the best we can and what ever comes after that ... well, just comes.

    Supreme leader?. Who is the Supreme Leader of Atheism; you?. There is none. Hierarchy creates jealousy and a false sense of power.

    Please put names to comments. I put the option for "anonymous" so everyone that drops in can have a say, but one thing I've always asked is to stick a name to your comments. Cheers.

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  10. Why put names on? You said there was no heirarchy! Which is sad, really, as I wanted to know who to pay my tithes to. Oh, well. Back to the Frisbeetarians.

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  11. Joseph Smith was the mormon founder. He ended up getting lynched(shot) at the age of 39.

    -puma

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  12. "Yes, science does. They even called it the Darwinius."

    What. The fuck. Are you on about.

    Look, trolling aside - serious philosophical question - the position you've taken above looks like 'We'll never understand the universe and the origins thereof so let's not bother trying any more.' In other words, let's give up. Is that actually your world view? That trying to understand the origins of life and the universe is pointless? Or are you just scared the answers we'll come up with (and have come up with so far) don't meet with your personal preconceptions of how we got here and what we're doing here?

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