Saturday, 3 October 2009

The Sugar War

The missus has decided to start eating brekkie. Sigh. This has started The Sugar War.

99.9% of the time the sugar on the counter is used for coffee. It just IS the coffee sugar. She doesn't drink coffee so that jar has been out of the loop of contention FOR.EVER.

Till now.

NOW, that sugar jar has been innocently found its way into the never ending war of domestic control. It has found itself on the front along with the TV remotes, who's driving - which I'm winning, WOOT - who get the net and when - it needs to be divied cause of the Xbox and 'speed' - etc etc.

The COFFEE sugar has coffee specks in it. This is a universal for everyone, I'm sure. I tried to explain the reason there's coffee IN the sugar is because you JUST.HAVE.TO put the sugar in AFTER the coffee to disperse the sugar on its journey to the bottom of the cup for the purpose of making it easier to disolve!. The alternative is putting the sugar in before - GASP - the coffee and having co-agged sugar to greet you at the bottom. Just. No.

Of course this explanation was meet with "tut"s. I tried to explain it's a big of a sin as putting the coffee in, then the hot water - GASP - then the milk, then the sugar. *twitch*

I also explained there's half a kilo of clean sugar in the pantry she can go nuts on.

The coffee jar is handier, of course.

SHIT. Then this came out of her face:

"Why don't you use two spoons. One for the [COFFEE] sugar and one for the coffee?"

Shit. SHIT.


  1. OR, why don't you just have two jars for the sugar, one for the table and one for where ever? I would have suggested two spoons for the coffee sugar jars too. Seeing as that is how we work it here and no coffee specks - ever.
    One other thing: No matter when you put the sugar in, stiring the whole thing PROPERLY will result in never having sugar alley at the bottom of the cup. Just saying is all. ;P

  2. my point exactly domestic daze - Tracy.

  3. I stopped reading when I realised you were using instant coffee. That kind of dismal economy deserves all the grief it earns.

  4. LOL I was actually considering the consequences of that when I was writing it.

  5. Steal packet sugar at every opportunity.

    Every opportunity.


  6. I am with your better half on this one. Who wants coffee flavoured coco-pops?!?!?!

    I drink tea and rarely coffee. There is nothing worse than getting a little bit of coffee flavour in your cuppa. Why don't you steal a ton of those sugar cachets from Maccas for your coffee?



  8. This is such a pointless debate. You drink instant coffee = you and all you care about deserving the living hell which is crustified bits of of freeze dried flavourless granuals of Satan's own version of a "smooth blend" infecting all the sugar you could ever hope to utilise on your journey through life.

    Otherwise, you tried sugar cubes? Never need a spoon, plus you get to like the few grains which stick to your fingers!

  9. coffee with sugar? Instant coffee with sugar?
    but why?

  10. I'm with the missus. As I was reading this I immediately thought "why not use two spoons?"

  11. Blocked. And don't speak to me again.

  12. Like some of those above I was wondering how you got coffee into the sugar since you don't need to put the spoon into the espresso until you add the sugar.

    Then I realised you were talking about instant.

    I want to say I sympathise, I want to take your side in this issue I really do but dude, you're talking about INSTANT COFFEE.

    I need to go an make myself an espresso to get over this realisation.

  13. Jeez methinks they're all missing the point. It's your freakin sugar Moko - if you're OK with coffee specks then that's OK. All respect to the missus but she needs to start her own sugar containment/delivery system. I know what you're feeling M, someone is trying to change a tried and true system in my kitchen also - f**ks me off majorly.

  14. I'm torn Moko, yes it's your sugar but I always leave a spoon in the sugar as I dislike having coffee in my tea.

  15. B ~ I'm sorry. I'm SO sorry. lol

    Lou ~ You just got yourself a payrise. THANK YOU for understanding.

    Bangar ~ Tea? o.O

  16. Why in gods name would you use two spoons?! unless you have a wet spoon you shouldnt really get coffee in your sugar anyway... ehhh, just wipe the spoon on your shirt before you get sugar bahahahahaha *imagines wife seeing you do that*

  17. Moko ... that woman needs to see the back of your hand if she keeps poking her nose in your sugar business.

    Look, Buddy, I'm not going to chastise you in public over your choice of using "instant" coffee. No, that conversation should be had over a drink and a smoke.

    Tell her that you noticed that since she started using sugar you can hear her thighs rub together and that should get her out of there.


  18. ROFL Mate, the only way I'll do that is on the phone at the airport, heading out.

  19. Mate just face it you're going to lose this one..

  20. Similar argument in this house. Except it's the vegemite in the butter one. Sure I could use 2 knives or even run the first one under the tap, but that screams common sense and decency. Two things I have little of after making 50 thousand school lunches.

  21. mmm, I would say you should cowboy the fuck up and NOT HAE SUGAR, the issue of INSTANT, well...I use Macconnnna at home when I can't be fucked with the expresso machine..thats OFTEN , cos i want my CAFFEEEEEEIN FIX THE FUCK NOW!. Leave Rhino and the other to me!...pussies, no fortitude!

  22. LoL @ the Rhino - and sadly, I agree with Chaz

  23. I sure like having the sugar mug (yeah, a Blue Rodeo souvenir mug in dark blue glaze with a silver logo) all to myself :-)

    I don't do instant of anything :-)


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