Ghost Dog.

Totally legit shit mate.

Hob knobing with Bill Gates' mates

Here's an interesting little factoid that some of you may not know. I do a little bit of "writing" - (random blatherings that Big Bad Al turns into something coherant) - for a gaming website - (link too the right) - totally for the purpose of getting free shit joy and love gained from playing shithouse games and sparing you, my friends, that same pain. FKN samaritan me tells ya.

Seriously, I love gaming. It's my hobby, and to be invited to share my opinion on a website that takes a professional, but human, approach to it all was awesome. Good bunch of blokes, all over 20 something to 30's, but the boss is a FKN arsehole. J/K Mick. *cough*

I got invited to a Xbox Live thingy that's happening on Monday next Saturday, now,, nope, back to Monday in 'The Valley' where they'll be show casing Twitter, Facebook, and other shit no one wants to be annoyed with while pwning n00bz things that we're real excited go and check out and be invited too. I may video it. But I'm afraid to take my camera in 'The Valley'. I don't wanna have to crack some fuck head in the head with it. Would bring new meaning to 'interactive media', however. We'll see.

To be continued...

Roman Poetry.

Gotta say I've never really had much to do with the Romans outside of Gladiator. Always thought their gear looked cool and shit but just today I came across some Roman poetry.

It seems they found humour in obscenities. My BROTHERS. And got joy from giving eachother shit.

The following was written by Gaius Valerius Catullus (ca. 84 BC – ca. 54 BC) and was considered by scholars to be too obscene to translate right up to last century.

Ironic, really.

Check this out:

In Latin:

Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo,
Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi,
qui me ex versiculis meis putastis,
quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum.
Nam castum esse decet pium poetam
ipsum, versiculos nihil necesse est;
qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem,
si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici,
et quod pruriat incitare possunt,
non dico pueris, sed his pilosis,
qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos.
Vos, quod milia multa basiorum
legistis, male me marem putatis?
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.

Translation:

I’m gonna fuck you guys up the ass and shove my cock down your throats,
yes, you, Aurelius–you fucking cocksucker–and you too, Furius, you faggot!
Just because my verses are tender doesn’t mean
that I’ve gone all soft. Sure, a poet should focus
on writing poetry and not on sex; but does that
mean they can’t write about sex? If a poem is
in good taste, well-written and erotic,
it can give massive boners to hairy old men,
not just to horny teenagers. You think I’m a sissy
just because I write about thousands of kisses?
I’m gonna fuck you guys up the ass and shove my cock down your throats!

Sounds like a literal translation to the subtext of convo's at the Instrument.

Making clothes out of fire blankets...

Seriously, WTF is up with the weather?. It's 10:30am and 35 (95f) in October. That's the middle of summer stuff. If you want to do anything physical outside (voluntary) you've got from 6am to 10am to do it.

*grumble grumble*

I LOVE the smell of napalm in the morning

I love Tuesdays. Nothing like a good old argument - hosted by Birmo - first up to flare the nostrils and get a running start on the day. Problem is, some days it starts raining bullshit and the battle gets bogged down and goes WAY past the gentlemans hour of productivity. I like that occasionally too, though.

Old Blunty makes it a fraction difficult - because of the cosmetics - to go for anything other than giving someone a running boot in the balls then leaving them to it. Doc did that today, and I've done that before. It isn't Birmo's fault. He's fought in the trenches to get it sorted, but he's fighting a futuristic war against WW1 Germans. They just don't seem to get it...or give a shit.

No real point to this post other than acknowledging my appreciation to those that take the time to give a shit about my opinion. Cheers.

Why I deserved the Nobel more than Obama

Obviously not the "Peace" one. I'm too much of a stirring smart arse potty mouth for THAT, but I'm either leaning towards "Physics", or a new category of "Nobel Instances of GENIUS".

Potty mouth warning.

Roast Placenta, Anyone?

And don't not believe some sick fucks don't eat their baby's after birth.

*gag*

Recipes

Anyway, we've got baby goats up to our armpits. Cute after 20 minutes, but isn't the most dignified experience for anyone involved. Six on the ground, and maybe 20 to go.

If anyone wants to give up lawn mowing forever, go here for the details.

Racist, or Cultural?

The 'black faces skit' last night got me thinking. Really, it was insensitive. Ya just don't paint ya face black and do skits like that anymore. By default, it's seen as dodgy at best.

What's totally irrelevant is the ancestral origins of at least one of the people performing. Just because he/they are not of Anglo ancestry, pointing that out and suggesting that makes it less racist is kind of a racist suggestion in itself. I heard a reporter ask them about 'where they were from'. He said, "I'm Australian".

Racism is about intention, depending on the language. Both verbal and physical. But their definite intention wasn't to be racist. If they say it was a tribute then you can only take that for granted.

This skit featuring Harry Connick Jr kind of leads you into thinking the dude's a fucken hypocrite. But really, his actions are irrelevant. Same as with a fair selection of Americans. It only takes 10 minutes on Xbox Live playing against Americans and all you'll start to hear racist rants non-stop. "Be*ner" - that a Mexican, or something? - is a favourite on there, and so is "You play like a N".

Just because a fraction over half of them voted Obama in to office that doesn't make them a beacon for all that's righteous in the world. Going by some of the talk around the place you'd be forgiven for believing it though. But still, that's irrelevant.

Just thought, is it sexist for Eddie Murphy to play a heavy African American woman?. I mean, he FULLY having a go at the stereotype...

Anyway, what IS relevant is taking five minutes to consider the consequences of an action. OBVIOUSLY, painting your face black is dodgy, and it's not about "Political Correctness", it's more about sensitivity. Sure it's getting to the point where we nearly need to apologise to someone before we communicate, but some things really are just black and white.

....shit, sorry if anyone was offended for combining black and white. I apologise.

The Sugar War

The missus has decided to start eating brekkie. Sigh. This has started The Sugar War.

99.9% of the time the sugar on the counter is used for coffee. It just IS the coffee sugar. She doesn't drink coffee so that jar has been out of the loop of contention FOR.EVER.

Till now.

NOW, that sugar jar has been innocently found its way into the never ending war of domestic control. It has found itself on the front along with the TV remotes, who's driving - which I'm winning, WOOT - who get the net and when - it needs to be divied cause of the Xbox and 'speed' - etc etc.

The COFFEE sugar has coffee specks in it. This is a universal for everyone, I'm sure. I tried to explain the reason there's coffee IN the sugar is because you JUST.HAVE.TO put the sugar in AFTER the coffee to disperse the sugar on its journey to the bottom of the cup for the purpose of making it easier to disolve!. The alternative is putting the sugar in before - GASP - the coffee and having co-agged sugar to greet you at the bottom. Just. No.

Of course this explanation was meet with "tut"s. I tried to explain it's a big of a sin as putting the coffee in, then the hot water - GASP - then the milk, then the sugar. *twitch*

I also explained there's half a kilo of clean sugar in the pantry she can go nuts on.

The coffee jar is handier, of course.

SHIT. Then this came out of her face:

"Why don't you use two spoons. One for the [COFFEE] sugar and one for the coffee?"

Shit. SHIT.

Re: that young chick sailing round the world

There's a young girl here who's about 16 and is about to attempt to sail around the world - in a boat - funnily enough.

Apparently her jaunt kicks off from Sydney soon, but first, she had to sail from north of Brisbane TO Sydney. On the first night just off the coast of Brisbane she sailed into a fucken WOPPING GREAT bulk carrier at around 2 of the A.M.

Boats builders and the like rallied together and sorted out the damage for her for free. TROOPERS, each and every one.

But that brings me to this point. What about her insurance?. What about insurance, 'full stop'.

Do adventurers and suicidal glory hunters need rescue insurance to piss off and kill themselves?.