The saddest thing about death of a loved one, for me, is the vast majority spend the rest of their lives mourning the day they lost that special person, and not celebrating the life and joy that person gave them.
With Mika passing the other day, we've regularly been talking about the things she did that made us appreciate her. Whether it was things that gave us the shits or the things that put us in hysterics or even the ones that just made us smile. All the little things that Tracy never knew about her - coz I got Mika before I got Tracy lol - I've found myself sharing. It's made the transition easier for me.
If only we could deal with it the same way with losing someone we love.
Sometimes, with death, the hardest part is the waiting. I've had a few rellies suffer for 2 or 3 years with terminal illnesses. When they die, it's almost a relief because you don't have to watch them suffer any more. I hate to see anyone suffer, let alone someone I love.
ReplyDeleteThe shock of losing someone suddenly, well, that kind of overrides the sorrow for me. I feel more abandoned than bereaved. And that has a completely different grieving process.
I'm sorry about your doggie. There's a reason why the phrase 'man's best friend' has become a cliché - it's because it's true. Take comfort in knowing you gave her the best life a dog could have.
When my Mika dog died, it was sudden and unexpected and I didn't get to say goodbye. And maybe this is weird, but I don't care: I wrote her a letter and buried it with her, and it brought me some peace.
ReplyDeleteThe day my dog Reggie was put down, he was far too sick and weak to run around and play outside. There were a few moments where we thought we'd lost him before we even got him to the vet's. We laid out Reggie's favorite blankets all over the floor and all took turns lying next to him for a bit until it was time to leave for his appointment. We petted him and told him we loved him and that he was a very good boy.
On the same note, when my cousin was dying a few years ago, it was much, much harder to do that. I remember feeling so shy suddenly and couldn't bring myself to say all the things that were bubbling up inside of me, and he died and I never got to say them.
And now I've learned that I have another cousin with a terminal illness, and no one wants to say anything out loud, no one wants to acknowledge it, and I'm walking around wondering if we're all just going to play this game and I'll have another regret on my chest. But on the the other hand, you have to respect his wishes and for now it seems, he just doesn't want anyone to acknowledge it.