When we are young and we meet someone new we sketch a picture of ourselves and hand it to them. Most of the time it doesn't matter if they like it or not. Over time we fill in the details of those sketches and look for approval as we go. We start to use colour and admit vulnerabilities and mistakes and try and erase or sketch over those things in an attempt to improve our image we gave to them. Sometimes our attempt at redrawing makes it worse and that person scrunches up your picture and throws it away. Sometimes those attempts at improving our picture or changing our mistakes are met with:
"It's okay, my picture isn't perfect either and I see what you're trying to do. Keep trying. It's okay.". We are grateful for that understanding.
Many times the person held your picture for a long time it becomes too familiar and someone else is drawing a picture they like more or it's new and fresh and they need that change to aid themselves in improving their own picture. Sometimes the redrawing of their own picture begins to get filled with mistake after mistake and they've forgotten your picture in the focus of their own.
"What's wrong with my picture?" you ask yourself. "I try to draw a nice picture and hand it out. I try really hard. It's not perfect but there are some really good parts, like here, and here, and here. Why don't you like my picture anymore? What is wrong with my picture?" as you forget everyone is drawing their own still. Sometimes they are so focused on their own they don't have the time for your picture. Sometimes they never really saw it. They glanced over it without allowing the time to see what's really there. Sometimes the picture is too detailed and difficult to grasp. Sometimes the picture just isn't their taste, and that's okay. You don't love everyone else's.
One day we realise we need to stop drawing pictures to hand out. "I'm tired of drawing pictures to please others" you say to yourself. SO you begin to craft a picture for yourself. You see your mistakes in other pictures you made. "Yeah, this mistake was mine, but it's part of my picture and I think it needs to stay. It's a mistake I can't fix but it's part of me. I accept the other mistakes too. Here are my wins. Here are my vulnerabilities. Here are my good parts."
You look at your picture and say: "Yes, that's me, but I'm not giving it away from now. Anyone I meet will see me hold up my picture and that's fine if they don't like it, appreciate it, or want to spend any time with it. Sure, there are coming mistakes and changes I don't know about, but see, I left a lot of blank space to fill in later when the need arises. I learnt from running out of space in my other pictures. It's me. I like it. I hope you do too".
Pete.
