Merry Christmas Mah Peeps

I guess now is as a good of a time as any.

Merry Christmas to you and yours and I hope for a fantastic and safe transition to the next decade for you guys.

Pregnant soldiers punished.

She's an interesting one, and I think it highlights the "down side" of having a higher percentage of females in combat zones. When you consider Vietnam, Korea, and the Dubya Dubya's the contact they had with chicks was minimal. They were either mostly local nationals, whores, or nurses. But the nature of the war in Iraq and Afghanistan and increase in female frontline roles has created a need for controversial rules of engagement, so to speak.

Check this article out.

Coupla highlights:

"A US general based in northern Iraq has defended his tough punishments for soldiers who get pregnant or impregnate a fellow soldier.

[...]

The Stars and Stripes military newspaper reported that seven US soldiers, including three men, have already been punished under Gen Cucolo's November 4 policy statement.

They received letters of reprimand that will not remain in their permanent military file.

Under his new rules, which have unleashed a fiery debate, violators are threatened with criminal charges or even a court-martial.

They apply both to women who get pregnant and men who get female soldiers pregnant, even if the couple is married.

"How dare any government say we're going to impose any kind of punishment on women for getting pregnant," National Organisation for Women president Terry O'Neill told ABC. "This is not the 1800s."

Gen Cucolo defended his decision as a means to help guard against the loss of valuable female soldiers. US troops get sent back home if they become pregnant.

Gen Cucolo currently commands around 22,000 soldiers in northern Iraq, about 1700 of whom are women.

"I need every soldier I've got, especially since we are facing a drawdown of forces during our mission. Anyone who leaves this fight earlier than the expected 12-month deployment creates a burden on their teammates," he said in a written statement."

Agree or disagree?

The future of books

Your standard novel destined to die off for unnatural obsession we have with everything electronic?.

All the encyclopaedia ... 's ... ii ... whatever, are dead and buried. Would that make libraries even MORE valuable than they are already ... eventually?.

I just can't stare at a screen to read large volumes either. So what do you think. Books gonna give way to convenience and profit, or they here for ever?.

Google Wave Impression

Alrighty, had a play with it and it's unnecessary. Would be EXTREMELY handy for business related in-office info sharing or a staff idea jam sesh for whatever, but for the individual or group of friends a combo of Twitter and Skype works better.

"Waves" get clogged down with dozens of messages and it's nearly impossible to keep up unless you're in 'a convo loop'.

Get it if your office uses email to communicate, don't bother as a tool for yourself.

Avatar (no spoilers)

Just a FKN excellent movie. Whoever visualized the imagery is a fucking genius. There are no surprises with the story line, but it doesn't matter, it's just FINALLY something spectacular at the cinemas.

If you even have a twinge of being a movie buff, or wanna see something special, go and see it.

9/10. 1 point down just for predictability, but 9 points up for awesomeness.

No Clean Feed. Why Not?

Doc pointed out that sounds like a dodgy feed from a kebab shop.

I actually don't have a drama with it as long as it works right and only filters out the dodgy shit that is classified "Refused Classification" by the ACMA. Coz we're talking about criminal information and images here.

So what's the drama with it?. Excluding it not working correctly and blocking innocent websites.

...and before anyone says it, I don't have a drama with "Refused Classification" if there ends up being an 18+ gaming classification.

The value of the individual.

It's interesting, I heard an American basketball player who plays for a local team that JUST gained Aussie citizenship talking about the value Australia and UnZud place on humans being a large part of his decision to gain citizenship.

He mentioned how where he was born the price of life is VERY cheap and that made me think it was almost reflective in the US judicial system with sentencing being ASTRONOMICALLY harsher than anything we've even come close to since hanging was knocked on the head, so to speak.

'White Colar' criminal sentencing is a joke, I'm sure most of us agree, but is the judicial system of countries a reasonable gauge on the value countries place on the individual and their civil liberties and why do you think we generally, as a society, apparently value each other more than other nations might?.

The Photocopier

Got this in an email.

Journalists in War Zones.

It perplexes me. The story of Nigel Brennan and Canadian journalist Amanda Lindhout highlight an on going issue with journos in war zones. I guess technically Somalia isn't a war zone, but really, you're fucking suicidal if you go there. I mean really, how arrogant could you be?.

I've seen DOZENS of videos of journos being blasted to pulp by various versions of military/gunmen. Some you can't help but think 'mate, I saw that coming a mile off'. Really, hiding behind a bank with a camera pointing at a tank 500 yards away is gonna get you on the recieving end of a HE shell. How are they supposed to know it's not a rocket on your shoulder and/or that you're not gathering intel.

The other side of it the horror of your family seeing you on the news with your legs shot out from under you so you can be used as bait. Or your kids googling your name when they're old enough only to see you with your head being bent BACK and sawn off with a dull knife.

I'm glad Mr Brennan got out 'okay', but really, you're a dumb arse dude. Arrogance will only get you killed in shit holes like that. Maybe consider using local journos.

Yes, maybe we do need to hear about the plight of the locals, but really, people only stop for a minute and go: "What a shame for his family" when you're dead on the news, and you're story dies with you.

Hitler rants about The Blunt Instrument

Ok, this may seem a fraction ego-testical, but this was well recieved and I wanna put all the comments regarding it together for eg-masturbation further down the track when it gets forgotten. And it's mine, STFU, I can do what I want.

I had to put em here coz Blogger comments can't exceed 4096 characters, apparently. I can't be FKD figuring it out into 4096 character blocks.

These are from Birmo's cheeseburgergothic.com

-------------------------------------------

By Bangar, December 6, 2009 @ 6:13 pm

Congrats are in order.

By Moko, December 6, 2009 @ 6:14 pm

lol Thanks mate. I must point out it’s for funny’s, and not a shot at anyone. Just using things that are currently topical for us.

By Abe, December 6, 2009 @ 6:14 pm

I needed to use my daughter’s ventolin I laughed so hard.

By johnbirmingham, December 6, 2009 @ 6:21 pm

I’ve fwd’d the link to a couple of insiders at BT who’ll get a giggle out of it too.

By brian, December 6, 2009 @ 6:26 pm

Oh that’s a pisser that is. Got a lot of dirty looks from the missus. Ahhh . . . .jeez . . . .gold . . . .pure fracken gold.

Seriously . . . .shoulda had that up before we got JB’s interview on Instapundit.

Suggestion. Next interview have a shoe on the desk. Nikita had a sense of style.

By Abigail, December 6, 2009 @ 6:31 pm

Moko, I think I love you- Titanium standard.

By Abigail, December 6, 2009 @ 6:33 pm

And now we’ve got Ladies and Gentlemen’s Quarters. More titanium. Ahh you guys, that’s hilarious.

By Medway, December 6, 2009 @ 6:39 pm

Gold.

By Nautilus, December 6, 2009 @ 7:12 pm

Sheer, unadulterated, 64 caret GOLD!!!!

Now THAT’S what the internet was invented for!!

Oh and porn and xbox online gaming but they go without saying.

Moko, that has made my day.

By Quokka, December 6, 2009 @ 7:12 pm

FKN hilarious.

By johnbirmingham, December 6, 2009 @ 7:18 pm

Moko, the BT subs LOVE it.

By Abigail, December 6, 2009 @ 7:24 pm

I think even Bruno Ganz would love that one.

By Moko, December 6, 2009 @ 7:34 pm

JB, lol excellent.

By fknvirty, December 6, 2009 @ 7:53 pm

well done mate, it’s a hoot and a nice touch (the re-edited captions) to an older piece of imagery. forget the name of the original, it wasn’t comedy, some serious bavarian film studio re-enactments i think. my sister in law works in the euro film/ entertainment industry and sends me snippets from time to time.
kow tows and appreciation of the energy involved. pz.v.

By sparty, December 6, 2009 @ 7:56 pm

Oh my that was fantastic!

By Lobes, December 6, 2009 @ 8:04 pm

All Godwins aside that was fkn LoL funny

By Moko, December 6, 2009 @ 8:07 pm

lol Thanks Lobes, thanks guys.

Virt, about 6 hours from start to posting. It’s called Downfall. Think it was a mini-series.

By Catty, December 6, 2009 @ 8:11 pm

My teenager has just bookmarked the site so she can show all her twittery high school friends.

By Moko, December 6, 2009 @ 8:26 pm

I feel bad about the language now…

By Mayhem, December 6, 2009 @ 8:35 pm

Awesome, and don’t feel too bad about the language, Most teenagers have heard/said it all before.

By uamada, December 6, 2009 @ 8:41 pm

fantastic… pure gold

By Abigail, December 6, 2009 @ 8:47 pm

Oh man, Downfall was a brilliant film. Bruno Ganz realy does it.

Anecdote: I went to see to with somebody I had just broken up with- ha! We had the tix and I guess we were still clinging on to the (whisper, whisper ,,,relationship).

LOL. As far as I was concerned. LOL.

By Abigail, December 6, 2009 @ 8:48 pm

Moko- Teenagers swear like its hell day.

By Timmo, December 6, 2009 @ 9:07 pm

Frigging pissing myself out loud hilarious…

…so much so that my flatmate came to see what I was watching. Sadly I had to explain it was something of an in-joke and would take a bit much explaining required to make it funny.

Wow, 6 hours worth? Thanks, Moko!

By Abigail, December 6, 2009 @ 9:53 pm

Timmo, same here. Really wanted to tell people but they’d just shrug.

By Catty, December 6, 2009 @ 10:29 pm

I tried to give the teen a brief explanation and was informed that she has been posting on Blunty for months. She won’t tell me her screen name. So I confiscated her mobile phone.

By jennicki, December 7, 2009 @ 12:00 am

Jaysus fkn Christ Moko. I’m wiping tears away. I laughed so hard I may have woken up all my neighbors.

Frickin GOLD, mate.

By mckinneytexas, December 7, 2009 @ 12:41 am

That was a home run, amigo.

By Paul Nicholas Boylan, December 7, 2009 @ 4:45 am

I am fucking not worthy. I loved it.

And, let us not forget - it is funny because it’s true.

By Moko, December 7, 2009 @ 6:26 am

Thanks hepas guys. Glad it was taken as intended. *phew*

By Abigail, December 7, 2009 @ 7:40 am

Moko- can’t speak for anyone else here, the more things get sent up, the more I love it. That’s what’s so gold about being here.

By sibeen, December 7, 2009 @ 7:55 am

Bravo, Bravo I say.

Deserves a standing ovation

By Leo euler, December 7, 2009 @ 12:19 pm

Lol! That was funny.

Fun fact: “Steiner” is German for “Sydney.”

Or is it? lol.

By Catty, December 7, 2009 @ 1:34 pm

Sorry, Moko, what with the teenager and all, I forgot to mention that you are a legend. Onya!

By Quokka, December 7, 2009 @ 2:33 pm

Will there be awards this year?
Like the logies?
Moko should have a Golden Goat or something on the mantelpiece for this.

By Moko, December 7, 2009 @ 3:14 pm

Thanks Catty, and Leo.

By Jaden3, December 7, 2009 @ 4:25 pm

Pure genius, Moko.. And oh so true.. laughed my head off..

By Barnesm, December 7, 2009 @ 6:59 pm

THAT IS FRAKING BRILLIANT

any chance that could be Tuesdays BT

By Abigail, December 7, 2009 @ 7:36 pm

It’s like that Downfall scene was made specifically for Moko’s work because the other ones just aren’t all that funny after the first 40 seconds- one trick ponies, whereas Moko’s told a story.

By Bangar, December 7, 2009 @ 8:43 pm

Barnes, it’s a thought.

How wars start

Someone's an arsehole.


.

Lick me in the ass fine well and clean?

Along the lines of the Roman Poetry episode we find none other than Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

Mr Mozart died in 1791. His missus sent some manuscripts to some publishers after his death to be adapted for publication. The publisher changed the lyrics from "Leck mich im Arsch", or "Lick me in the arse", to "Laßt froh uns sein", or "Let us be glad".

APPARENTLY this song was for the shits and giggles of it for him and his mates to be sung at parties at his place. There were three parts. Kinda like how you do "Row, row, row your boat" with alternating start times.

Here the audio. Sing along, if you can.

Leck mich im arsch g'schwindi, g'schwindi!
Leck im arsch mich g'schwindi.
Leck mich, leck mich,
g'schwindi

In Englich...umm...English:

Lick me in the arse quickly, quickly!
Lick my arse quickly
Lick me, lick me,
Quickly

In case anyone cares, here's the "Let us be glad" alternative.

Let us be glad!
Grumbling is in vain!
Growling, droning is in vain,
is the true bane of life,
Droning is in vain,
Growling, droning is in vain, in vain!
Thus let us be cheerful and merry, be glad!


It seems that Mr Mozart and his friends got VERY drunk one night and came up with an alternative, fortunately for us: Leck mir den Arsch fein recht schön sauber, or Lick me in the ass fine well and clean. As you do.

Leck mire den arsch recht schon,
fein sauber lecke ihn,
fein sauber lecke, leck mire den arsch
Das ist ein fettigs Begehren,
nur gut mit Butter geschmiert,
den das Lecken der Braten mein tagliches Thun.
Drei lecken mehr als Zweie,
nur her, machet die Prob'
und leckt, leckt, leckt.
Jeder leckt sein arsch fur sich.

OR

Lick my ass nicely,
lick it nice and clean,
nice and clean, lick my ass.
That's a greasy desire,
nicely buttered,
like the licking of roast meat, my daily activity.
Three will lick more than two,
come on, just try it,
and lick, lick, lick.
Everybody lick his own ass himself.

NO WONDER he called them K.223/382d

Authors critiquing books

Don't do it.

"For instance, Lovegrove demonstrates a strange tendency to slip in technically correct, but stylistically unsuitable, vocabulary into otherwise workmanlike prose - "steatopygous", "athwart", "besmirched" to mention a few words thus used, although it doesn't happen often enough to be a joke. And then, at one point, there is a startling moment when one of the characters, an ex-policeman, comments on the tendency of police officers to use " a florid, unnatural form of English" in their reports and has to stop himself doing it when he gets tired. Post-modern self-referential irony or not? It has to be - the rest of the technical aspects of the writing are too competent to allow it to be anything else. But whatever it is, it stands out like a quarterback's foot in your eye most of the time."

Shut up.

New Moon: Porn for Chicks

I have to confess to the brotherhood on this page that I went to the Twilight movie, New Moon, yesterday. Before I'm excommunicated please let me explain. I did it for me, and us, my brothers.

For me, because now when something of explodey awesomeness graces the big wide screen I've got one round in the belt. Secondly, consider it "one for the team", so to speak. We need to know what these women are being exposed to - literally, and artistically - for the purpose of expecting to be punished for not wanting to die if your missus dies and not having a hot body....like those fuckers do in the movie.

If we were to find a comparison for New Moon as a dude flick attempting to get the same reaction we'd be looking at something based on 16 year old school girls running around in string bikini tops and tight little work out shorts, in the rain. Seriously, GROWN women were giggling like girls at EVERY dumb joke and gratuitous pose....and it was FULL of it.

Edward's a skinny arse mother fucker, by the way. Pffft.

The bird is bipolar, as well - fits most chicks. Apparently she's read something about Vampire cock somewhere - going by her begging for it - and is BUSTING for it but when he face palms her she finds a hole in the forest - literally - and crawls in.

Men, if you were to go to a movie that was about 16 year old girls wearing next to nothing you'd be labelled a perv one step up from the worst kind. So why is it different for chicks?.

FKN GET OVER YOURSELVES

Re: the climate change "debate"....or climate change mass-debate, as I call it.

Really, there's no debate that the environment is changing. Who gives a shit if we - as a species - are majority responsible or if it's a planetary cycle?. Isn't it just a good thing if if we change how we function AS a species?.

Forget green-house, how we function is shit-house. Fixing it can only be a good thing for us and the planet, can't it?.

These clowns can't see the ocean for the waves.

Voting off other drivers.

You know what?. I reckon there should an in-car thing where everyone votes on other drivers via a 'sat-link' thingo where you just punch in the rego and after enough votes a UAV appears over head loaded up with Maverick missiles and blows them into the after life THEIR 'sat-link' thing warns them to sort their shit out or be banned from the road for the rest of the day. For repeat offenders they be banned for an extra day and so on.

People who vote too much without other drivers voting for the same drivers as well get a warning.

The coppers already have the auto rego ID thingo. It could work.

It's amazing what a bit of water does.

Stoked we've been getting some rain over the last week or so. Check this out.

Modern Warfare 2

The REAL sequel to Call of Duty 4 is due out on Tuesday, Au time. I reckon you might be able to get it Monday to Monday arvo coz there's no real dramas with playing it online inside a week of release.

Anyone getting it?. Wanna hook up?. I've only got the Xbox so if anyone's keen let us know.

Oh thank God I'm miscarrying. Abortions take too long..?

You know what?. I reckon the right to have children should be a God given unlock. Kinda like an achievement in a game, if you will. You should need to achieve a level of societal consciousness and compassion. You should have had to proven to the almighty through your "inner beauty" - unlike what's found on America's top model - that you're worthy of producing off-spring and that you are not a fucken total 'Gomer'.

"Penelope Trunk is a careers advisor who wrote a book in 2007 called 'The Brazen Careerist' , has a blog of the same name and was, until recently, CEO of her own company called, wait for it, The Brazen Careerist.

Well, we get the Brazen part. On the personal front, she is a divorced mother of two.

When the storm erupted, here's what she said to CNN:

'I have no regrets. I actually thought that having a miscarriage at work was no big shakes. It seems like everyone in the whole world would prefer a miscarriage over an abortion - even the Pope. It's no different to me saying what I had for lunch. I am not really sure why people are offended. To those who don't want to know, what would I say? Don't log on.""

The 'Tweet':




Dunno about youse, but I can picture her wandering to the dunny, 'Slop slop slop flush', and off for lunch.

Sourced from: Mamamia

Ghost Dog.

Totally legit shit mate.

Hob knobing with Bill Gates' mates

Here's an interesting little factoid that some of you may not know. I do a little bit of "writing" - (random blatherings that Big Bad Al turns into something coherant) - for a gaming website - (link too the right) - totally for the purpose of getting free shit joy and love gained from playing shithouse games and sparing you, my friends, that same pain. FKN samaritan me tells ya.

Seriously, I love gaming. It's my hobby, and to be invited to share my opinion on a website that takes a professional, but human, approach to it all was awesome. Good bunch of blokes, all over 20 something to 30's, but the boss is a FKN arsehole. J/K Mick. *cough*

I got invited to a Xbox Live thingy that's happening on Monday next Saturday, now,, nope, back to Monday in 'The Valley' where they'll be show casing Twitter, Facebook, and other shit no one wants to be annoyed with while pwning n00bz things that we're real excited go and check out and be invited too. I may video it. But I'm afraid to take my camera in 'The Valley'. I don't wanna have to crack some fuck head in the head with it. Would bring new meaning to 'interactive media', however. We'll see.

To be continued...

Roman Poetry.

Gotta say I've never really had much to do with the Romans outside of Gladiator. Always thought their gear looked cool and shit but just today I came across some Roman poetry.

It seems they found humour in obscenities. My BROTHERS. And got joy from giving eachother shit.

The following was written by Gaius Valerius Catullus (ca. 84 BC – ca. 54 BC) and was considered by scholars to be too obscene to translate right up to last century.

Ironic, really.

Check this out:

In Latin:

Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo,
Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi,
qui me ex versiculis meis putastis,
quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum.
Nam castum esse decet pium poetam
ipsum, versiculos nihil necesse est;
qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem,
si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici,
et quod pruriat incitare possunt,
non dico pueris, sed his pilosis,
qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos.
Vos, quod milia multa basiorum
legistis, male me marem putatis?
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.

Translation:

I’m gonna fuck you guys up the ass and shove my cock down your throats,
yes, you, Aurelius–you fucking cocksucker–and you too, Furius, you faggot!
Just because my verses are tender doesn’t mean
that I’ve gone all soft. Sure, a poet should focus
on writing poetry and not on sex; but does that
mean they can’t write about sex? If a poem is
in good taste, well-written and erotic,
it can give massive boners to hairy old men,
not just to horny teenagers. You think I’m a sissy
just because I write about thousands of kisses?
I’m gonna fuck you guys up the ass and shove my cock down your throats!

Sounds like a literal translation to the subtext of convo's at the Instrument.

Making clothes out of fire blankets...

Seriously, WTF is up with the weather?. It's 10:30am and 35 (95f) in October. That's the middle of summer stuff. If you want to do anything physical outside (voluntary) you've got from 6am to 10am to do it.

*grumble grumble*

I LOVE the smell of napalm in the morning

I love Tuesdays. Nothing like a good old argument - hosted by Birmo - first up to flare the nostrils and get a running start on the day. Problem is, some days it starts raining bullshit and the battle gets bogged down and goes WAY past the gentlemans hour of productivity. I like that occasionally too, though.

Old Blunty makes it a fraction difficult - because of the cosmetics - to go for anything other than giving someone a running boot in the balls then leaving them to it. Doc did that today, and I've done that before. It isn't Birmo's fault. He's fought in the trenches to get it sorted, but he's fighting a futuristic war against WW1 Germans. They just don't seem to get it...or give a shit.

No real point to this post other than acknowledging my appreciation to those that take the time to give a shit about my opinion. Cheers.

Why I deserved the Nobel more than Obama

Obviously not the "Peace" one. I'm too much of a stirring smart arse potty mouth for THAT, but I'm either leaning towards "Physics", or a new category of "Nobel Instances of GENIUS".

Potty mouth warning.

Roast Placenta, Anyone?

And don't not believe some sick fucks don't eat their baby's after birth.

*gag*

Recipes

Anyway, we've got baby goats up to our armpits. Cute after 20 minutes, but isn't the most dignified experience for anyone involved. Six on the ground, and maybe 20 to go.

If anyone wants to give up lawn mowing forever, go here for the details.

Racist, or Cultural?

The 'black faces skit' last night got me thinking. Really, it was insensitive. Ya just don't paint ya face black and do skits like that anymore. By default, it's seen as dodgy at best.

What's totally irrelevant is the ancestral origins of at least one of the people performing. Just because he/they are not of Anglo ancestry, pointing that out and suggesting that makes it less racist is kind of a racist suggestion in itself. I heard a reporter ask them about 'where they were from'. He said, "I'm Australian".

Racism is about intention, depending on the language. Both verbal and physical. But their definite intention wasn't to be racist. If they say it was a tribute then you can only take that for granted.

This skit featuring Harry Connick Jr kind of leads you into thinking the dude's a fucken hypocrite. But really, his actions are irrelevant. Same as with a fair selection of Americans. It only takes 10 minutes on Xbox Live playing against Americans and all you'll start to hear racist rants non-stop. "Be*ner" - that a Mexican, or something? - is a favourite on there, and so is "You play like a N".

Just because a fraction over half of them voted Obama in to office that doesn't make them a beacon for all that's righteous in the world. Going by some of the talk around the place you'd be forgiven for believing it though. But still, that's irrelevant.

Just thought, is it sexist for Eddie Murphy to play a heavy African American woman?. I mean, he FULLY having a go at the stereotype...

Anyway, what IS relevant is taking five minutes to consider the consequences of an action. OBVIOUSLY, painting your face black is dodgy, and it's not about "Political Correctness", it's more about sensitivity. Sure it's getting to the point where we nearly need to apologise to someone before we communicate, but some things really are just black and white.

....shit, sorry if anyone was offended for combining black and white. I apologise.

The Sugar War

The missus has decided to start eating brekkie. Sigh. This has started The Sugar War.

99.9% of the time the sugar on the counter is used for coffee. It just IS the coffee sugar. She doesn't drink coffee so that jar has been out of the loop of contention FOR.EVER.

Till now.

NOW, that sugar jar has been innocently found its way into the never ending war of domestic control. It has found itself on the front along with the TV remotes, who's driving - which I'm winning, WOOT - who get the net and when - it needs to be divied cause of the Xbox and 'speed' - etc etc.

The COFFEE sugar has coffee specks in it. This is a universal for everyone, I'm sure. I tried to explain the reason there's coffee IN the sugar is because you JUST.HAVE.TO put the sugar in AFTER the coffee to disperse the sugar on its journey to the bottom of the cup for the purpose of making it easier to disolve!. The alternative is putting the sugar in before - GASP - the coffee and having co-agged sugar to greet you at the bottom. Just. No.

Of course this explanation was meet with "tut"s. I tried to explain it's a big of a sin as putting the coffee in, then the hot water - GASP - then the milk, then the sugar. *twitch*

I also explained there's half a kilo of clean sugar in the pantry she can go nuts on.

The coffee jar is handier, of course.

SHIT. Then this came out of her face:

"Why don't you use two spoons. One for the [COFFEE] sugar and one for the coffee?"

Shit. SHIT.

Re: that young chick sailing round the world

There's a young girl here who's about 16 and is about to attempt to sail around the world - in a boat - funnily enough.

Apparently her jaunt kicks off from Sydney soon, but first, she had to sail from north of Brisbane TO Sydney. On the first night just off the coast of Brisbane she sailed into a fucken WOPPING GREAT bulk carrier at around 2 of the A.M.

Boats builders and the like rallied together and sorted out the damage for her for free. TROOPERS, each and every one.

But that brings me to this point. What about her insurance?. What about insurance, 'full stop'.

Do adventurers and suicidal glory hunters need rescue insurance to piss off and kill themselves?.

New Moko Article

I've been doing a bit of fun writing for a gaming website recently. Figured I may as well use my blog to plug it.

Click this link.

Sympathy for the Devil?: Roman Polanski

It's an odd one, and really, the law has the memory of an elephant with a filing system.

"Samantha Geimer, 45, was a starry-eyed innocent when Polanski asked her mother if he could photograph her for a fashion magazine at the Hollywood Hills home of Jack Nicholson in March 1977.

After plying the youngster with champagne and drugs and taking nude pictures of her in a hot tub, Polanski had sex with the teen despite her resistance and requests to be taken home."

[...]


"Polanski, famed for films such as Rosemary's Baby and Chinatown, fled the US in 1978 before being sentenced after his guilty plea to a charge of unlawful sexual intercourse with 13-year-old Samantha Geimer. He faced up to life in prison".


At this point I'm thinking it's the justice ghost of xmas past come back and claimed him. But here's the odd bit.


Outrage after Roman Polanski arrested on child sex charges


GOVERNMENT ministers, movie directors, writers and intellectuals have expressed shock and outrage after the detention of Oscar winning director Roman Polanski in Switzerland on three-decade-old child sex charges.

France and Poland are to ask the United States to drop the charges and consider a presidential pardon over the case, Poland's PAP news agency said overnight, though Polanski has already acknowledged he had sex with the 13-year-old girl in Los Angeles in 1977.


Someone tell me why there's outrage?. He was convicted and did the bolt before sentencing. Fairly black and white, to me.

Please ignore this post.

I have anger issues, but I'm not afraid to use 'em

In person, I'm the most laid back and understanding person you could know. I don't anger easy, I'm not frustrated easy, I'm cool in a crisis, stress gets to me long term without having ways to deal with it, but short term I'm quite good with it. I'm non-judgemental.

Why is then that online I can have the patience with fuck wits that is equal to the fuse on a hand grenade?. I'm about as subtle and as diplomatic as a hand grenade as well when the fuse is lit.

It's odd and kinda contradictory to my real life personality. I don't believe I HAVE to be right. Me and Doc have come to understandings before.

Someone psychoanalyse me.

i found many cheap jordan shoes online for sale,is it fake?

Hello all. Transplanted Moko advice giving from another site.

Warning: Contains content that some might consider insensitive. It's meant to be ironic....maybe.

"japePrearplag" - (who you'd reasonably assume to be a bot) - 'asked':

"i found many cheap jordan shoes online for sale,is it fake?"

My reply:

Sunday morning, and here I was contemplating the universe and its many wonders. The meaning of life, and what's the point - not in a negative way. Looking for existential meaning, if you will. But here I am struck by the magnitude of your Sunday morning conundrum - are Jordan shoe sales online fake...?.

So you found "many". Statistics would have you believe that the chances of fraud online is fairly prevalent. Cheap Jordan will quite possibly be among the target set where these pesky fraudsters would target. To be honest, I didn't know they still made them...isn't Jordan running a brothel in Guatemala?.

That point leads me to the next question. Do these shoes come from Guatemala?. If they DO, then it's reasonably fair to assume that Jordan, in between running the Brothel and lapping up the luxuries that that sort lifestyle may produce, he quite possibly decided over a mango and pineapple smoothie - possibly Sunday morning TOO - that shoes netted him a tidy little income once so why not AGAIN???

Being in Guatemala, you'd assume - not that I know ANYTHING about Guatemala's GDP - in order to access the world market at competitive rates and to make money from the venture without having to 'dip' - so to speak - into his Brothel account to make up the difference in expenditure he'd need to venture online for Jordan Shoe SALES!!!.

So long story short, if the shoe sale accounts are in Guatemala you should be fine. Buy lots, and say hi for me. IF they are anywhere else, you'd probably be funding terrorism by buying them - even made in USA ones.

Good luck!

P.S.

GASP...as an after-thought, it could be Cheap JORDAN shoes, not Cheap Jordan SHOES...as in the KINGDOM of JORDAN.

Here's some info as found on Jordan - the country - in the CIA World Fact Book - DEFINITE one for the favourites menu.

"approximately two million Iraqis have fled the conflict in Iraq, with the majority taking refuge in Syria and Jordan; 2004 Agreement settles border dispute with Syria pending demarcation"

See...

refugees (country of origin): 1,835,704 (Palestinian Refugees (UNRWA)); 500,000 (Iraq)
IDPs: 160,000 (1967 Arab-Israeli War) (2007)

IDP's, I think, are displaced persons. Beats the fuck out of me what the difference is between 'refugees' and 'displaced persons' are. I'll write to the CIA on your behalf and ask. Shalnt be long...in the mean time, continue reading...

current situation: Jordan is a destination and transit country for women and men from South and Southeast Asia trafficked for the purpose of forced labor; Jordan is also a destination for women from Eastern Europe and Morocco for prostitution; women from Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Indonesia, and the Philippines migrate willingly to work as domestic servants, but some are subjected to conditions of forced labor, including unlawful withholding of passports, restrictions on movement, non-payment of wages, threats, and physical or sexual abuse

tier rating: Tier 2 Watch List - Jordan is on the Tier 2 Watch List for its failure to provide evidence of increasing efforts to combat trafficking in persons in 2007, particularly in the area of law enforcement against trafficking for forced labor; the government made minimal efforts to investigate or prosecute numerous allegations related to exploitation of foreign domestic workers; Jordan failed for a second year to criminally prosecute and punish those who committed acts of forced labor; Jordan also continues to lack victim protection services; Jordan has not ratified the 2000 UN TIP Protocol (2008)


Prostitutes from Morocco eh?....bet they make a nice Moroccan Lamb. I had a nice Moroccon Lamb at a little restaurant in a little town called Biloela in rural Queensland...rather delish...anywho...

So by buying Cheap JORDANIAN Shoes you're actually helping stop slave labour and sexual servitude by pooling manpower into lacing, boxing and shipping the shoes, and by counting the money you send. You are also giving the 'displaced persons' - which the Yanks and Au Gov will tell you are all terrorists by DEFAULT - something else to do while they figure out how to make bombs out of mangoes!.

It's a win win. Good luck!

Playing with helicopter water bombers.

Not really back, but hello. *waves*

This registered a large blip on the givefuckometer so I thought I'd share it. And I know it'll FKN HVK the shits to know I was playing with choppers while he was working. HEE.



Take care.

Event Horizon

I'll be back on this page when the time is right.

Catch up with me here, on Twitter.

Shan't be long.

Well, YOU SAID for better OR worse...

Occupational Health and Safety would have a seizure over this...

Class.

Class doesn't have ANYTHING to do with money, credentials, your job, the shit that you drape over yourself, what you drive, or where you live. It's ALL about how you carry yourself.

22 year old drunk dies.

The bullshit around the death of a 22 year old fella in the UK is doing my head in.

Part of me twitches a pang of sympathy, but that's about it. I definitely don't think he deserved it, but he definitely didn't doing anything to help himself.

There's thousands of people out there who should be queued up before people who make the same decisions he did.

Sites worth perusing...

On the right 8=====>

Jamin (the blue box) introduced me to the Thorne dude. SRSLY worth a read if you need a laugh.

In other news. I have to face C*nterlink later today. GROOOOOAN.

OH EM GEE, a breakthrough...

I received the following on one of my videos at Youtube.

"cause your a dirty fucken camper with 1 skill to camp u dirty fucken camper"

...and my reply?.

Well, instead of usual return serve with bite and an unloading of words that would put HAVOCK!!!11!!!1 to shame and make a hooker blush, I said...

...and I quote...

"Nice."

I'm becoming an adult!.



*twitch*

Artillery = Landscaping, one round at a time.

.

Half tempted to have a go at the Reserves for the fitness and experience.

.

We came in peace. We left as victors.

Now I've gotta think of an entry to go with the title.


Actually, on the news there was footage of the bombings in Jakarta, just today. The reporter used the phrase, "Bloodshed at breakfast". Thought that was a beauty...not considering the context, of course.

It's funny how people are so matter-of-fact about certain things. A photographer said he saw what appeared to be the remains of one of the bombers. He said that going by the condition of the remains it could really only BE the bomber. He said it like he was describing what was on his plate before the explosion.

When I was doing security I had to talk with a fella who wanted to commit suicide. I was stuck, by myself, with this fella for maybe a solid 5 minutes before the coppers arrived. That contact with someone in that frame of mind really fucked with my head for a coupla days.

I couldn't imagine what it would be like seeing the bits and pieces of someone.

Sorry, bit random. lol.

Australia's Shame...

No, not 'concentration camps' for the illegal immigrants. No, not the stolen generation. No, not Waltzing Matilda, though, that's seriously woeful....but THIS...

Lest We Forget.

JB's Big Erection

You NEED to check Blunty today.

CLICK HERE TO BE TRANSFERRED.

WTF Spam Filter

On Youtube there's a spam filter password thingo you've gotta enter after fuck all comments. Beats the living shit outta me why they can't just write the letters in a normal font. I mean, WHAT FUCKEN DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?.

Anyway, I entered 'colowkk'. I wasn't it.

Dude, where's my job?.

In UnZud you had to compete against 500 other people for a job. I'm not exaggerating. Divine intervention and working for next to nothing was what got you a job and as long as it paid, you did it. Before coming to Aus I worked seven nights a week with 3 part time jobs just to get something that resembled a wage. The depression was horrible. Seriously. The unemployment rate was something like 12%. I believe Aus's at around 6% at the mo, and climbing.

I came to Aus in March '99 and it felt like I walked into the job version of the land of milk and honey. You could be ANYTHING you wanted. One job was a pain in the arse?, no worries, just quit and in two days time you'll be doing something else, guaranteed.

In the last two weeks I've applied for maybe 20-30 jobs. Not a fucking whisper back. I'm not aiming high either. Looking at night cleaning jobs and various other 'shit kicking' jobs.

As the concern gets more I start waking up earlier. I'm now waking at 04:30 and just laying there going, "Fuck".

I'm one of the fortunate ones too. I don't really have that much responsibility compared to most. I can't imagine the stress many are going through right now.

I contacted the Gov this morning to get on the dole. Sigh.

Bravo Tennis Australia

In Australia the media - (justifiably) - got a hard-on for football players, and other sports, who 'play up'. If you believed the headlines you'd consider them a bunch of fuckwits. Isn't an Australia-only issue by any stretch of the imagination.

The guys shuffling the paper without having a background on the footy field can see the drama associated with punters 'boycotting' as seen with a Sydney team a few years back. Bad press nearly fucked them, and so it should. Sponsorship is where the power of the people stands in regards to football, but thank Christ associations like Tennis Australia and Swimming Australia play by societal expectations.

Check this article out.

"BRYDAN Klein, a player identified as a future star of Australian tennis, was yesterday banned from the elite circuit for six months for racially slurring a rival.

The West Australian, who made his Davis Cup debut in Thailand alongside Lleyton Hewitt in March, has also been fined more than $30,000 for calling South African Raven Klassen a "kaffir" at a tournament in England shortly before Wimbledon.

The 19-year-old, who has apologised, has also lost the support of the Australian Institute of Sport -- which included coaching and travel assistance -- and is banned from competing in all ATP tour events from July 20.

Klein, who reached the second round of this year's Australian Open, can reduce the suspension to four months if he completes a "racial sensitivity training" course, the ATP said in a statement yesterday.

The body ruled the use of the slur in the final round of qualifying at Eastbourne "repugnant".

"It is particularly upsetting and entirely unacceptable for this to be used in a sporting event such as the ATP World Tour where equality amongst sportsmen is a predicate to fair competition and, indeed, paramount to the success of the tour and of the sport," the statement read.


If only footy took it that seriously they wouldn't have social fucken retards raping and shitting in hotel hallways. Their sponsors need to come into bat.

Rofl...I'm such an idiot.

Watching a vid on Youtube about a firefight in Afghanistan with the Yanks and Afghan troops going at it against whoever. Pretty intense stuff. Dude calling in air support from inside the village. Could even hear a chicken in the village. More shooting, and more animals. Could hear a dog this time, then the chicken again. This time a rocket hits a wall RIGHT NEXT to a Yank....scares the CRAP outta him.

They retreat from the village and are heading back down a road with air support strafing the hillside. They must be still near the village cause I can hear that dog....then the chicken...just as loud....WTF???...

Now they're further down the road and I hear the chicken....roflmao....I'm thinking you fucken tossers. I see red. I'm warming up a serve for dodgying up the vid for dramatic effect. Cause this is an official vid from DVIDS.

I start at the keyboard like I'm bashing the fucker with a pork sausage with it stuck on CAPS LOCK. The video has ended by now and I'm going AT them.

Then I hear the chicken again...

lol I'm thinking I've lost it. I check, yep, the vid's paused. Then it dawns on me. I had Farm Town on Farcebook open the whole time...

Thank fuck I didn't save my tirade. lol

Battlefield 1943

DICE, the company that created the breakthrough online multiplayer, Battlefield: Bad Company, just released another breakthrough game - (in regards to it being a cheap downloadable) - Battlefield: 1943. You can pick it up at XBL or the Playstation online market (PSN?) for around AU$20. It's 550mb download, or there abouts. It comes out on PC in September, sometime.

If you want explodey goodness, GET the those two Battlefield games. You won't be disappointed.

I gave them a bit of stick via Twitter for a late release - (but wasn't their fault, REALLY) - and now you can't get online multiplayer here for lack of servers, or something. Apparently that's being rectified, quick sticks.

Normally, Battlefield is a game you can play online every time you kick it in the guts. Billions of yanks online - (they usually snag hosting) - at any given time and the condition of the Aussie internet makes for a chore getting a game fairly frequently with Call of Duty 4. Battlefield have never had that drama. Usually you always can get a game.

I gave the tutorial a run this morning and it looks great. There's nothing comparable around for the same price. I'll do a vid later when it's up and running because I know EVERYONE who reads my blogs gives a shit.

"...and have you got experience?"

Said the '10 year old' taking my call at the job agency.

"Well, no, but I'm keen, a fast learner, I've got loads of experience in factory work and truck yard work, and really is experience THAT important in regards to this position?", I replied.

"Yes!. Well, that's a requirement of the employer..."

"I see...", I said feeling somewhat gipped, "...do you think you could pass on my details just in case?", I say, almost begging.

"Ummmm...well...yeah, I suppose so", she says. I can envision her with her hand poised over the little red hang up button on her phone base. I pass my details on and don't hear a pen or a keyboard confirming the information.

"Thanks heaps for that I say. Racking Asphalt from a truck isn't too dissimilar to some of the jobs I've had", I say holding back the urge to call her a fucken dick head.

Seriously.

I had another job agency that I sent like ten resumes to for various jobs over the course of a few days. I get a TEXT MESSAGE 3 WEEKS LATER saying they had one shift for a security guard THAT NIGHT. lol Fucken true. Dunno what you've gotta do to get a shitty job.

Child Abuse, or Discipline....

Over at Lou's.

Hope she doesn't mind lol. Oh well. Lovely lady, interesting topic.

Chicks, and sales.

I personally can't remember the last significant thing I bought that wasn't needed, or used. Well, 'needed' could be conjecture depending on who's telling the story. Seeing as I am, it was NEEDED. Same with acquiring items. It's tackled like a military op with the moon sitting just right and the day selected with all the variables considered, itemised, and alternate plans in place in case of unforeseen circumstances arising. Then she's over before anyone knows I was there.

Twas talking with Al on Twitter and he mentioned how his 'lady friend' - (whatever the hell THAT means...he's SOOO tapping it either way ;o) - when he raised the point of how she's going rank on shop sales and has bought stuff she just doesn't end up liking.

DO ALL chicks do this?. My missus - ( PRAYS TO THE LORD ABOVE SHE DOESN'T READ THIS) - buys SHIT cause it's on sale thinking she's saving money....I mean, you know....

Why I Think Atheism Is Bullshit

It seems to me that people are finding it easier and easier to give religion a coupla barrels whenever they feel the need and it's usually done like "guess what I said to THIS fuck knuckle today", and not taking the time to consider those around them.

It seems to me that this has come about since 2001. THe Christian and Islam slant on current events seems to have given them a set of testicles where previously they were firmly planted around their lower bowel. For sure Atheism has been around since the Greek Gods condemned them, but lately it's cool, or something, to hurt others.

Not taking a direct shot at you Stu. It's just a symptom of bigger things.

I think some people think I'm some sorta religious freak, which I'm not, I'm more in the 'considerate of others' camp. If you want a run down of where I'm at, consider me "treat those as you wish to be treated". People making blantant comments that I KNOW would make someone else be uncomfortable gets my back up. Doesn't really matter who says what....either way, it's rude. Say what you want say in your own blog, but publicly, unless of course all those around agree to discuss it, don't. To me, making statements that can hurt is NO DIFFERENT to being racist in a public forum.

To me, it's just straight out intollerant and arrogant.

And those comments nearly always comes from the Atheists. Who are hypocrites, IMO.

Anyway, I was gonna do a thing where I described the chances of the Universe accidentally happening so as to be able to handle life. What the chances ACTUALLY are for an enzyme to happen accidentally and THEN that a cell needs 2000 of those accidental enzymes etc etc. I'm not stating God created the universe, but maths itself makes it almost impossible for things to just happen. There are BILLIONS of things that needed to accidentally happen IN ORDER for us to be here.

SO someone convince me why Atheism is right. Why are you Atheist and not Agnostic?. Something was proven to you to make you land in that camp. Without attacking religion, convince me. I won't take "Aww but it just doesn't make sense" arguments.

I'll don my pocket protector and thinky hat and leave the cross in the drawer.

I think there's more evidence of creation, than evolution.

*DING*

The Mist

Saw the movie The Mist a few weeks back - I've been thinking about it since I saw it. Didn't know anything about it before I we watched it and don't really like Stephen King as an author. He has a few I do like, but I find him too out there.

Anywho...The Mist was typically fucked up by another Director - (not that I've read the book) - but it was as enthralling as watching paint dry in a situation where the potential for something good was there. A group of townsfolk stuck in a supermarket surrounded by a mist with monsters in it.

...and King's monsters are a fraction 'meh' till the end. It was kinda like a 50 chapter book with the first and last chapters being kinda good. Mostly it was about the dynamics of a group of strangers in extraordinary circumstances with some dominant personalities running the joint.

So I watched it a few weeks back and it stuck with me, that is why I'm writing this. In case I've convinced you to watch it, stop reading...lol but I doubt it.


SPOILERS BELOW

THE mist is a result of 'military' experiments in the area that open a worm hole to a parallel universe, or another world. Enter, the monsters. At the end some towns people are forced to leave the 'safety' of the supermarket before the inevitable happens. Plus, they out stayed their welcome. The social dynamics - with the religious hell and damnation leader - and a few other characters that need a bat to the head early on due to the FRUSTRATING nature of their personalities. The obviously token black guy being the most frustrating. The fucker wouldn't just get some basic shit through his head. That did my head in. Bad way to do the charater.

Knowledge, IMHO, gives people a false sense of security when it comes to survival. You come across a wild dog, or a snake, or whatever, and a certain amount of knowledge that you have about those animals and chances are you'll survive the encounter. Insert a foreign scary threat and you strip that security away and also the ability to rationalise the situation...or people panic. When they get outside and away it is made clear that things have changed. We are NOW ants in a new world with 100 foot high other-world animals with prehistoric ways of dealing with us. You are not made aware of the 'event horizon'. It just IS.

Then the decision time comes. The truck runs out of gas and five people are left in the middle of 'another planet' with nowhere to go. Leg it, or wait, or top yourself?.

The most frustrating was the potential for something really great, but it didn't seem to have the want to tackle it at depth and with substance. What a waste for something so thought provoking.

Anyway, hope that gets that stupid fucken movie out of my head.

Resource Wars: If America Invaded Aus.

Okay, let's say the yanks wanted to build a force in the north end for the intention of securing resources in this part of the world. The Australian government went, "Nah", the the yanks went, "Rightio" and using some of their assets already in place followed by an invasion force in northern Aus secured it anyway and 'took' resource deposits up north.

Obviously not considering other better logistical options the America would more than likely consider first. But if it came to it, would Aus - citizens - fight American military.....or more so, Americans?.

A tomato sauce sandwich is NOT weird

Tomato sauce is the equivalent of Ketchup. I've always had them, and are my mid evening snack. The mother-'in-law' thinks I'm a nutter.

A slice of bread. Margarine it. And lay a line of sauce....like so...




Fold it over from corner to corner at the end of the sauce lines VIOLA....sauce sanga. Milo sandwich ain't bad.

Chip sandwich....hot, or 'crisp' chips is THE best.

Big issues, tackled.

My first 'album'.

Just asked Jen on Twitter what her first album was as a result of this comment:

@havock21 On the radio this morning a guy was talking about his first vinyl record. He said " it was my most memorable 12 inches" and I DIED

If you need a yap or a laugh, join us ON Twitter. Twitter is why none of us update our blogs.

Anyway, on Xmas morning, 1980, I opened a pressie that contained my first 'album'. That year, as a family - (Parents, me, brother, and my sister) - ventured north from Dunedin, UnZud, aiming for Auckland.....driving the whole way. Two islands and a coupla thousand K's.

IT's funny, now that I think about it I can remember a WHOLE heap about that trip. The trip on the inter-island ferry, Wellington with the Beehive, and the reclining trees, Tawa - (where 'Lynn of' lives) - Taupo, Waioru - (the Army museum and UnZud's base for 'Basic Training') - mum screaming - literally - down the open top hydro slide at Taupo, Rotorua and the mud pools, geisers, buried town, HUGE trout, and the little candy fruit that came in the little wooden crates, and the smell of sulphur, then on to staying at 'whoevers' farm near Hamilton, then on to Auckland and so much more there. Those are some of my highlights, not including my first album that everybody HAD to listen too for the whole damn journey.

I was JUST 8, and the album - (in the form of a casette) - was The Magic of Boney M. - 20 Golden Hits. Loved it. 'Daddy Cool', 'Rasputin', and 'Ma Baker' were my standouts. I still know the words to 'By The River Of Babylon'.

What was yours, and what did it mean to you?.

I LOVE the smell of two-stroke in the morning.

Thinking about tackling this guy today.




She's probably easily 50 feet long and half a meter thick. Probably about two years worth of fire wood in it. It had shallow roots as a result of the drought we had for 7 or 8 years then it pissed down. Over she went.

DO you think you can give the wood away?. Lazy fuckers. We won't use the wood as fire wood so am thinking about making shit out of it....or giving it a go, I should say. I'm not a good artist, but I'm good at copying stuff if I'm looking at it.

Thanks heaps for everyone's contributions to my previous waffle. Much appreciated.

Obama and Palestinians.

I think it's important for the outside world to observe the region so as to avoid the Palestinians finding themselves wept out to sea and the Israeli's suddenly finding themselvs with lovely new digs on the coast and all sweeping the ground with their straw brooms looking at the camera going, "WHAT Palestinians?".

The ACTUAL inflence someone like Obama has on the region amounts to nothing more than propaganda. After Obama's speech - earlier this month? - in Cairo, some Palestinians love him for comparing them with the struggle of the African Americans . Israel is just going, "LOL Yeah, as if...he didn't say that...".

Can anyone tell me why the Israeli/Palestinian drama is SO important to America?. They've been endlessly offering pointless envoys to the region since Israel was created. The only way the region will fix is if fundamentalists from both sides stop being fundamental. Just WILL NOT happen.

Edward Kranson Chap 1 Part 1

Twas getting a bit long. Thought I'd post it before NO ONE read it....or just DOC....anyway LOL


Chapter 1: The Hunt

I’m so fucking tempted to start my tale with “It was a day like any other...”, but it wasn’t, it was a day of awesomeness...then total shit.

Today was Friday. At the start of the week I had just bought a new rifle that I saved up for friggen months for. According to the missus it was just a fraction over $1000, with ammo. The reality written on the various receipts now tucked away in my safety deposit box in the city – where various other receipts reside away from the prying eyes and apocalyptic judgements of the Minister for War and Recreation – was just a fraction under $2500.

She was a fucken beauty tho; the rifle. I had done a lot of shooting when I was younger. Those trips through the Alps to various ranches and life styles acres were what gave me the love for the planet I have. You hunt for fun. That’s the truth. But you don’t kill for fun; or you shouldn’t. You do everything in your power to make the demise of your prey as swift as possible. During those years I used everything from .22’s to pump action shotguns and the occasional ‘sporterised’ ex-Chinese assault rifle. I loved the early mornings stomping through remote hillsides with the smell of total freshness and crispy grass. At certain times of the year that grass was crispy from the frost, or crispy from the dry. Either way you always felt privileged to be there. You know that these areas haven’t changed a bit since before people felt inspired to write the bible or the dinosaurs were in their death throes.
I missed that. It may sound odd to you, dear reader, depending on your hobbies of course, but without hunting in my life I felt like something was missing from me.

That morning I woke ten minutes before the alarm. I had sourced a farm to shoot at via a friend of a friend – you know the story – and had scouted out the area during the week previous. I knew there were varying assortments of introduced feral animals roaming the hills unaware of their inevitable demise.

I had packed the car the night previous and after a restless night I beat the alarm clock to the punch.

That moment is the moment you WISH you spent an eternity cherishing.

Her warmth...

...and that slight groan only they can make to acknowledge your presence by the slightest of kisses on her mostly unconscious body. Looking back you wished you had made love and told her how much the time you’d spent together meant to you. You wish you held her for five more minutes, or really, stayed and had gone with her. You wish you could’ve made her breakfast and watched her eat and all the time giving you mischievous smiles and taunts. You wish....

You just wish.

The reality of the situation is though, that if I had rubbed my morning boner in the crease of her arse wanting to get a quick one off before “running through the hills slaughtering innocent animals”, as she put it, I would’ve got a resounding, ‘Fuck off’. I was still ever so slightly still in the ‘dog house’ for blowing $1000 on a “stupid fucking gun”. If only she knew.

I kissed her on the cheek and told her I loved her and that’ll I’ll ring her when I was on my way home. An ever-so-sleepy “Okay, I love you too” is what I got back. I doubt if she even knew I had gone. It was 04:00 in the morning, after all.
Dodging dogs at that time of the morning in an effort to make your departure as quiet as possible is a near impossibility considering those little bastards are awake ‘at the drop of a hat’. I guess you get that for being able to sleep when all’s quiet, day or night. Of course their tails bang and crash and you scream at them in the quietest of 4am voices. I grabbed my keys, lunch, freshly charged video camera and left them all to it.

I had spent a couple of hours the night before skiting about the shoot ahead to my friends on Twitter. My last message was, “Nite all, see ya’s on the flip side suckers”, to which I got a scattering of “hope you forget your ammo”, “hope it rains you bastard”. I would take a monsoon to stop me. As for ammo, that’s something I’d remember before my own birthday.

While the car was warming in the cool pre-dawn air I sent my last Twitter message on my phone, “Enjoy work, mwahahah mwahahaha”. The time on Twitter would’ve registered at 04:10. They would’ve known. The journey ahead was only an hour. Dawn at this time of year was a bit after 06:00 so the sky would begin to lighten up just on my arrival with the sun wiping its bleary eyes on the horizon as I hiked into the hills.

Heading out of town I stopped at the service station to grab a pie. I knew the attendant only by my patronage and all he wanted to do after a long night of watching fuck all in the fore-court was discuss every article he had read in every magazine he flogged off the shelf and read front to back. The guilt of basically turning my back on him and waving bye after paying for the pie lasted mere moments. Within two minutes of pulling in to the service station, I was off again.


To be continued...

Transformers: Rolling on The Floor

Didn't look right so I looked it up. It's actually Revenge of The Fallen....but seen ROTF so many times I was waiting for Frodo to appear....or is that LOTR....ANYWAY....the movie.

So we establish Megan Fox is hot fairly early. Oh yeah, she's still hot. And still, and again yep, OH nice pout....cleavage....yeah.....arse......ok....cute smile, gotcha, rightio, cleavage again....ALRIGHT.....GET ON WITH THE FUCKEN MOVIE....Jesus.....and there's no nipples. This review lied to you ya.

700 billion trillion bucks on CGI is gonna max out the senses...and hearing. Too bad the plot is as deep as a foot wash, and in the action scenes you really have NO IDEA what the fuck is going on. I suggest just pashing till you see who's left standing.

Wait for the DVD. The ads at the start will give you the shits. Then it's 14 hours long.

10 on the explodey goodness scale...well, might make that an 8. I saw a preview for '2012'. That'll get a 10 for visual coolness.

7/10 as a movie.

Undemocratic Democracy

The Iranian stuff has got me thinking. How Democratic ARE WE?. I'm not an Australian citizen so I can't vote - (I'm a permanent resident on special visa in case it matters) - so anything I know about the Australian version of Democracy is based totally on heresay and half arsed attempts at research.

BLANK BIT

Lobes kindly pointed out the blank bit where other stuff was, was shit. He didn't comment on the below. Keep reading then...




The Australian 'Bill of Rights'


Ummm Nope.


"Even though Australia has signed all five international treaties that make up the the International Bill of Human Rights, none of these treaties are legally binding in Australia. Nor is there is a Bill of Rights in the Australian Constitution. This means that the fundamental rights and freedoms of everyone living in Australia are not protected by the law."


Crikey, streuth, and stone the crows I hear you all say. So how democratic IS Australia?.....and not caparatively. IF you're gonna compare it. Compare it against your idea of a democracy...

Terminator: ....Umm ..... Whatever It's Called.

Just got back from watching the latest Terminator at the flicks. Liked it; twas good.

Seriously though, why don't directors film as much as they need to film then sit down, watch it, and go "nah....that's shit house".

Two points.

1. The future Terminators have teeth, and a jaw. Why?. Wouldn't Skynet have refined them by then?. I get why Arnies did, why the ones in the future that exist only to kill?.

...and don't get me started on the one at the 'stock yards' with the bandanna on.

2. The 'motorbike' scene with JC - (only clicked with the link in the initials in THIS MOVIE. Fuck I'm slow) - on it. Hang on a mo. This thing is a ROBOT. Where's the throttle?.


Anyway, didn't ruin the movie for me. Great special FX and enjoyable crap going on. Another coming sometime in the future. Will look out for it. You'll get the most outta the special FX at the flicks, but if you've got a good tele wait till the DVD.

7/10

Woolies Self Serve Checkout.

Our new supermarket opened a few months back and employed really no one from our town. GO figure.

ANYWAY, the thing I hate about those self serve checkouts is the staffer standing ready to pounce on ya when prove to her that you're totally fucken retarded in the head space by hearing that, "Oops HAHA YOU FUCKED UP" beep. KNEW it was gonna happen when I heard the beep. Of course, Commandant Check Out Chick comes over and says in the most condescending voice, "It's okay, it happens to everyone...".

I couldn't verbalise "Bitch, step away or i'll end your day now ".

...then the bags were melted together and I was having issues breaking them apart. Guess who rocks up.....I felt like ripping the rack off the wall and beating her with it.

Damn rain.

Edward Kranson (prologue part 2)

I was gonna tag this bit on the start of the first chapter, but decided just to knock it over to start fresh on chapter one.

Edward Kranson: Prologue Part 2

I’ve been here sitting for some time trying to figure out the best place to start my story. Should I tell you about my family when I was young, my school holidays, should I cover the trouble I caused, and avoided, my first girlfriend; my last?.

Do you want to know?.

I guess, in part, it depends on why you’re reading this. I’m sure your story is similar to mine. I’m sure your family and friends disappeared just as mine did. I’m sure you have your own heartache and emotional tragedy. I’m positive you don’t need mine on your conscience, as well.

To be straight up and honest, dear reader, I’ll tell you now. I don’t have the answers. I don’t know why this happened. I don’t know how it happened. All I know is that everyone other than me disappeared one day....there is no more to the investigation than that.

It’s funny though, you never really stop wishing for answers. You look and look for some clues, or truth. I’m sure you’ve come a long way and understand fully what I’m saying. Your mind is always looking for ‘that thing’ to fill the blank. The single....big....blank. That shit is the killer.

I’m no sailor, nor pilot. Due to my location it seems a fraction silly to kill myself in an effort to try and be either. I don’t know for a fact that I’m alone on this planet. I just haven’t found, or seen, any evidence to the contrary. At the marina I have a boat. Not my boat, as such, but no one has come to claim it back. I wish they would. I use it for fishing and travelling up and down the coast searching....for anything, but I don’t have the skill, nor courage, to tackle international travel by yacht. I did get to the north end, and that story will come in due course. I’ve been tempted to give it a nudge by hugging the Asian coast line, but common sense got the better of me.

So anyway, dear reader...to my story. I only write this to share the information and knowledge I’ve gained from this experience in the hope that it helps you in your efforts and for you to know that you weren’t alone if I don’t get the chance to share my story with you myself. To be brutally honest with myself, this is mostly for the purpose for filling time. I’m bored fucken stupid. I don’t actually believe you exist but somewhere in some far off corner of my soul there is some sorta hope for mankind...or maybe that hope is more directed inwards. I idea of keeping myself alive, for nothing, is worse than the death of everyone to grasp. You’ll have to forgive my lack of storytelling skills though, I’m not trained as a writer and I’m a fraction rough around the edges. I’ve been dealing with this shit for quite a while now so you won’t get TOO much in the way of soppy shit. But I’m sure, given the circumstances, you don’t give a fuck.

To be continued.

Edward Kranson

It’s a lot of work being me.

Is what Frankie Machianno thinks when his alarm goes off at 3:45 in the morning.

That’s the opening two lines of my favourite book. It’s not my favourite book because of Frankie Machianno. It’s my favourite book because of the author.

The author wrote in a style I hadn’t come across before. I recommend reading it if you ever come across it. Frankie was a cool dude who could cook, run a business, kill people, and fuck like he was making a Bolognese sauce – Inside joke, dear reader. That one’s between me and Frankie .

Reading those two lines makes me laugh inside now though. When I first read the book I agreed, it was a lot of work being him, but now, I’d trade places with Frankie Machianno in a heartbeat.

I guess he has one thing on me still. I don’t miss the alarm clock. Well, in some regards I do. An alarm clock creates meaning.....a purpose, if you will, to your existence. An alarm clock lets you know there’s a brand new day just been handed to you by God and you have to be somewhere and you had better get cracking.

I actually miss that sort of purpose. I guess I could go looking for an alarm clock. The problem is that early on in my story I found all the alarm clocks I could, put them in a pile, and turned them into a dust cloud with explosives. LOTS of explosives.

Phones were next.

Then a house.

I regret the house. I regretted turning that house into wood chips from the moment I saw the head of a little girl’s doll in the dirt. It wasn’t that nice of a house, and there was no one in it; I’m not a murderer. But it was someone’s house. You could tell they loved the house by how neat and tidy it was. How everything had a place and by how everything was in its place. The garden was just as orderly as the house, and I had taken their delicious vege’s. The lawn was manicured and trimmed, just so. The clothes on the line weren’t flash, but they were clean and cared for too. Their car wasn’t that nice, but it ran, and well. The interior was worn from years of use, but still, it smelt new.

I think that’s why I blew their house apart. And how I laughed.

“TAKE THAT YOU FUCKERS. NOT SUCH A TIDY HOUSE NOW.....IS IT...” I screamed as my ears rang from the concussion wave of the explosion. I kicked dirt, chucked debris, and laughed. Thinking of that moment makes me smile. I smile until I remember turning my back, walking a few steps away, then seeing the doll’s head laying in the dirt. It stopped me. It stopped me cold. I just stood, and stared. I stood and stared and then the tears started. I lay in the dirt and wept just like the little girl would have at the sight of her precious little doll all but vaporised for no other reason than fucking shits and giggles. I felt like such an arsehole for days, weeks even.

I guess, dear reader, you’re beginning to wonder what you’re reading. Who this psycho is stealing vege’s, blowing up houses, phones, and alarm clocks?. Who is this person weeping in the dirt over a doll’s head?. Where is the little girl that owned the doll, her parents, the police even...?

Well, dear reader, I’m fucked if I know.

I’ve spent a while trying to think of a story that sort of sums up who I am, where I am, and what I’m doing. One story that comes reasonably close might be Z For Zachariah. I read that at school. My English teacher at the time, Mrs Witty, a hot young 20 something who was born in my home town and who had moved to the States, got married, and came back to start a new chapter on her life had introduced me to short stories. Z For Zachariah - not so much a short story - is one that stood out.

The Sniper, was the best.

The question I ponder the most may clue you in to my situation.

‘If everyone other than yourself is nowhere to be found, are you lost?’

There are no piles of gelatine-esque sludge on the ground where mankind once stood. No Triffids, no freaky as fuck undead/diseased people murmuring “Braiiiinz” and trying to eat me. There is no nukes, nor biblical apocalyptic drowning from polar caps and such. No earthquakes, nor second comings.

There’s just me, and you, dear reader. Welcome to my story.

My name is Earl.

Inside joke again. My name is Edward Kranson.

On Tasers...

TOTALLY blows my mind that the Police would release THIS statement. Anywho, they did, and OFF it goes. They didn't even say what a 'cycle' is or even offer 'we are investigating a malfunction'. Mate, hand the guy a noose and get it over with....Jesus.

I find it hard to believe a 'year old' copper would would effectively torture someone to death for 28 'cycles' without intervention from others on the scene. TWENTY EIGHT....twitch your finger like you're pulling a trigger 28 times...

What is a 'cycle'. It seems a 'cycle' is a pull - charge - and release of the trigger. That could be a microsecond long and up to 3 days long...

How do Tasers work?:

When you pull the trigger of a Taser gun, a blast of compressed nitrogen launches its two barbed darts at 55 meters per second, less than a fifth the speed of a bullet from a typical pistol. Each projectile, which weighs 1.6 grams, has a 9-millimeter-long tip to penetrate clothing and the insulating outer layer of skin. Two whisper-thin wires trail behind for up to 9 meters, forming an electrical connection to the gun.

[...]

The X26--the model commonly used by police departments--delivers a peak voltage of 1200 V to the body. Once the barbs establish a circuit, the gun generates a series of 100-microsecond pulses at a rate of 19 per second. Each pulse carries 100 microcoulombs of charge, so the average current is 1.9 milliamperes. To force the muscles to contract without risking electrocution, the signal was designed to exploit the difference between heart muscle and skeletal muscle.

[...]

Skeletal muscle constitutes 40 percent of a typical person's mass and is responsible for making your biceps flex, your fingers type, and your eyelids wink. It's organized into bundles of single-cell fibers that stretch from tendons attached to your skeleton.

[...]

...opening nearby ion channels that are triggered by voltage instead of by acetylcholine. As a result, a wave of voltage rolls outward along the fiber toward both ends of the muscle, moving as fast as 5 meters per second. As the voltage pulse spreads, it kick-starts the molecular machinery that contracts the muscle fiber.

By directly jolting the motor nerves with electricity, a Taser can stimulate the muscle and get the same effect.

[...]

The force with which a skeletal muscle contracts depends on the frequency at which its nerve fires. The amount of contraction elicited is proportional to the stimulation rate, up to about 70 pulses per second. At that point, called tetanus, contractions can be dangerously strong. [...] The Taser, with its 19 pulses per second, operates far enough from the tetanus region so that the muscles contract continuously but without causing any major damage.

[...]

To see just how different skeletal and heart muscles are, let's look at what it takes to seriously upset a heart's rhythm. Basically, there are two ways: by using a relatively high average current, or by zapping it with a small number of extremely high-current pulses.

In terms of average current, the 1.9 mA mentioned earlier is about 1 percent of what's needed to cause the heart of the typical male to fibrillate. So the Taser's average current is far from the danger zone for healthy human hearts.

As far as single-pulse current goes, the Taser is again in the clear. The heart's chronaxie is about 3 milliseconds--that's 30 times as long as the chronaxie of skeletal muscle nerves and the pulse lengths of a Taser. The single-pulse current required to electrocute someone by directly pulsing the most sensitive part of the heartbeat using 3-ms pulses is about 3 A. Because a Taser's 100-ms pulses are such a small fraction of the heart's chronaxie, it would take significantly higher current--on the order of 90 A--to electrocute someone using a Taser.

[...]

In the United States, about 670 people die each year under police restraint, according to the U.S. Department of Justice's Bureau of Justice Statistics. These incidents include arrests and attempts to control an uncooperative person who needs medical assistance, as well as suicides after arrest. Studies have shown that stun guns were used during about 30 percent of in-custody deaths in the United States. Although Tasers were involved in a sizable fraction of these deaths, one should not leap to the conclusion that Tasers caused them. One study found that 100 percent of in-custody deaths involved the use of handcuffs, and one might apply the same faulty logic to argue against ”killer cuffs,” but that would, of course, be absurd. Medical examiners have cited Tasers as the primary cause of death in only four cases to date, and three of those were later thrown out of court.


I think we'll find out it wasn't the Taser itself that was responsible for the guy's death. Put 20 bucks on it...anyone?.

Info gained from: HERE

Good grief... (potty mouth rant)

Watching a stupid fucking bitch on stupid fucking morning show stupid fucking thing and the stupid fucking bitch was whinging about princess movies. She wants to ban them. Yep, FUCKING PRINCESSES. Snow White is apparently feeding her glorious biological little perfect princesses misrepresentations of reality and how life actually works in regards to men and love....OMFG.....SHUT UP.

You'd be tempted to laugh this crazy fucking mole off, but a round of "Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep", anyone?.

For HAVOCK

Bit of escapism for ya dude. I know it isn't your favourite bit of this movie because of there being no Wagner, but I think it's the greatest sequence of ANY movie.

As a sequence of its own it's kinda out there, but if you put it into the perspective of the movie and its message then it's a prelude to what's wrong with war and how it warps peoples perception when they're out of the loop in extraordinary circumstances.

Hope you like it. Took me YONKS to upload. lol

Apocalypse Now: Napalm in the morning.

Coming Soon....

Moko centering his Chi.

Alrighty, this is where I'm at.

I finished me course and passed. WOOT. I'm waiting on the actual results to see how well. Not that that makes any difference in anything other than ego. But it'll gauge how my all round performance.....okay, still ego.

I NEED a job. I'm really looking at anything but hoping for some night work cleaning or something so I can train hard during the day. I'm naturally an unmotivated person until I actually get my teeth into what ever I wanna do then I tear it to shreds.....but getting started is where I lack discipline.

Getting into the coppers is doable, so I've found, but I want to be a prepared as I can be physically and mentally to be able to give my best shot. The course I did set me with fore-warning on what I need to know. For example, it'll be handy to have a head start on the Powers of Arrest from the Police Powers and Responsibilities act. Wouldn't it...of course it would.

I found out also that the psychometric tests take practice. I need to do LOTS of them.

I've had tips on how to get through exams. Don't know it?, don't answer it. The whole process is one big exam.

When we were leaving the course for the last time on Thursday we basically were 'kinda lined up' to say thanks to the tutor....more ambling out...whatever. I watched him say, "bye", "seeya", "have a goodin", etc etc till I got to him and he stuck his hand out. That was cool.

The stars are lined up in good spots and the way is lit.....or something. I'm not wanting to rush it. I wanna get it right. I attempted to join the Territorial Army (reserves) in NZ when I was young. I wasn't prepared and I failed...I got in, and got selected as an Assault Trooper, but I failed myself. THAT is my only life regret, so far. I don't wanna add this to that list. I'm happy if I don't get in but I prepared the best I could. That's all you can do. And you may not get it the first time. I'm giving myself till 40 to achieve it.

But first, I need a job.

Thanks for listening, universe.

P.

CoD4: GHB

Helping myself to some online sexies.

The Author and the Director.

Don't think it's much of of secret that some authors fucken hate the director's 'interpretation' of their work when they magically turn words into pictures.

I notice that the director that did Frank Miller's '300' and 'Sin City' kept asking himself, "what would Frank do", when he came up against some directing issues. Having said that, all five minutes of 'The Spirit' that I watched was total shit. Maybe the comic was too.

Do directors have the right to 'interpret' an author's piece of work, or do they owe it to the author give it their best?.

Racist By Default

Why is it that when people think of racism against, say, Indians, the default thought is that it's Anglo's doing it?...


Why?.

The Morning Ritual

I have a ritual, I'm sure we all do. It's funny, it hasn't change in YONKS. I get up...and such...then grab a coffee, feed the dogs AFTER said coffee or they're a pain in the arse EVERY morning, like they are anyway, but, meh. Jump online, crack open the Tweet deck, open my blog and see who's written what. While they're loading I'll open a BING page and get that one cracking on Youtube for me messages and new vids etc. Read fellow bloggers blogs and leave occasional insight with a rather pleasant tang of wit. Tap out a few Tweets in between. Either barge into a tweet convo or get started on the new subscription vids on Youtube.

Find out BF1943 hasn't released a release date STILL. Ya know, it's due THIS MONTH and they can't pick a number.

Then head over - (this is a NEW one. I don't recommend it. SERIOUSLY addictive) - Facebook - (which I FUCKEN HATE) - and pry the lid off Farm Town and employ some pickers of do some picking and buy BUNNIES. MWAHAHAHAHA MWAHAHAHA MWAHAHAHA...

Finally, I look up and it's 1000....

YOuse?.

Internet sevice provider.....which one is best?.

Da Missus is FINALLY considering fast Innanet and a possible alternative to Telstra. GASP.

So which one?. iinet apparently do a fast one with free xbox live downloads (which helps me *snicker SNORT*).

We're paying $60 at the mo and don't want it to change that much. Anyone sitting on a gold plan they wanna share the details of?.

Bing (the search engine)

I recently came across Bing (that's the Aussie one) randomly and by accidental like so I thought I'd give it a nudge, and report back.

Bing was brought out by Microsoft. That sums up all I know about the history.

I tried it all day yesterday and that quickly discovered I like it more than Google. The ONLY reason I've previously used Google was because on the home page my inbox for my gmail account was displayed. That's it. Don't really like it as a search engine; I liked Chrome even less.....well, that's a fraction harsh, just nothing stood out for me.

Three things I use a search engine for mostly is, 1) Spell check, 2) Images (stills and vids), and 3) Research....*cough*...read: googling random shit...web pages and stuff.

Ok, Spell Check: Some times a spell check doesn't work as well as it should or you need to check the meaning of a word...before you use it to try and sound smart *cough*. Type it into Bing and it'll correct the spelling automatically. That be handy if it knows what you're thinking. Type in '*word* meaning' in Google and it'll come up with a link to the dictionary. Bing will display the meaning under the word so you don't need to click to another link. I like that. +1 on Google.

Images: This is the REAL cool function. Search an image and it'll display images...obviously, but it displays the image WITHOUT the info associated. Run the cursor over the image and the info pops up. IT also displays subsections of the search.

Click here for example of 'tree' search. +1 on Google.

Search videos is even cooler. It's even BETTER than searching videos for Youtube IN Youtube itself. Your search will display videos relevant to your requirement. But run the cursor over the video and you get a preview of the vid itself from ANY website. OR-SUM. Beats searching Youtube and having to spend ages filtering the shit.

Click here to check it out. +5 on Google.

Research: Bing's search 'world' is A LOT smaller than Google. But it hasn't let me down yet. Run the cursor over each page result and it displays info about that page. I liked that. +1 on Google.

Overall...it's cool. I like it more than Google, obviously. Try it, you might like. I use it in conjunction with Firefox.