"You were a wonderful partner"

 I can't talk about this on my normal socials yet, so my anonymous Blogger gets it.

Tracy finally called it. She formally requested palliative to step in yesterday and thankfully I got there super fucking early. I got much of the morning with her by myself but at some point we had to say good bye.

Her last words to me were "You were a wonderful partner". It broke me, and still does thinking about it. I am not okay and I can't talk to anyone I don't contact outside of Facebook, short of family and close friends due to the wishes of her mother. But you know how close you can get to people you've never met. It's weird that way. I need them.

She's comfortable now and sedated. Just waiting for her to pass.  

I am not okay.